Mailbags and Stew Leonards

Today ladies and gentleman marks the very first mailbag here at ETC. ETC. ETC. we have received some interesting questions and comments and I will offer up my thoughts on them. I had decided to call this the Suggestions Box but as you will see in one of the questions I am going to have to rethink this title. So I give you the working title Mailbag....

Hollywood (NJ)- I saw a couple engaging in a drunken makeout at the bar like their plane was going down. When is this behavior acceptable, if ever?
Great question Hollywood. In fact you stole one of my responses. That kind of behavior would be acceptable if you were on a plane and your pilot said you were in a nosedive for the rocky mountains. In which case any kind of behavior gets a free pass, including the crazy makeout. But here are a few of my possible scenarios to make this vial act acceptable.
1. If one of the people were going off to war- If your being shipped out in the morning, then by all means makeout like its 1941.
2.If one of the people dove in front of traffic to save a young child- if you witnessed said person perform said act, then by all means suck face like a hoover vacuum.
3. If one of the people is a chartered member of Oprah's Book Club- that speaks for itself.

Jason (N/A/)- I think your blog sucks. Who are these people you write about and why should I care?
Ladies and Gentleman I give you our first random reader/hater. All I can say to that is if you don't like it, don't read it. At least this shows the site is getting some readers. And....agree to disagree.

Aaron (D.C.)- Alright Stew Leonards, I've got a question for the suggestion box. (Suggestion box, really? You couldn't come up with anything better?)
Who dove farther?
A) Eric Byrnes making a catch in left field
B) Joba Chamberlain (vs. Cleveland Indians) - 5th Inning - June 1st
C) Anyone in this video...http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgPgOUisPeI
What a great video. I suggest you guys take the time to view it and understand how pathetic soccer dives truly are. Eric Byrnes will dive for a ball even if there's no chance he can catch it. He might have a nice career as a stuntman when he decides to hang up the cleats. I'd have to rule out the Joba play because it was actually a good play, and I don't want to acknowledge the yankees anymore than I have to. So I'd have to give this one to any of the soccer players, take your pick. Seriously, take your pick, because they are all so good. The comedic value of this clip is off the charts. Number 3 looks like he was picked off by a sniper, Number 13 is solid, 10 is absolutely ridiculous, 4 is hysterical, especially when the ref gives him a yellow card and he is miraculously healed. But I think number 2 is my favorite, he acts like Albert Haynesworth stomped on his head.

Mike (CT)- Who would you rather fight, Bruce Lee or Mike Tyson?
Wow this is a tough question and could be responsible for hours of debate. On the one hand you have the master of kung-fu and who single handily changed the course of action movies. On the other you have a certifiable maniac who bit some one's ear off in an organized fight.

Bruce Lee could literally kill you in 12 different ways. It's been documented. Look it up. And he karate chopped and kicked his way past like 700 henchmen in Enter the Dragon. You're screwed either way if you actually had to fight one of them. But if given the choice I think I'd fight Bruce Lee and here's why.

I don't think Bruce could kill me with one swift blow. He would easily knock me out, I wouldn't be able to even touch him and I would probably not even see his kicks and punches. But Mike Tyson is a madman. If you don't believe me, you should do a quick youtube search of mike tyson highlights. He has a chance of hitting me square in the jaw and rotating my head 180 degrees like an owl. No to mention there would be no rules. It would be a street fight and we all know what Tyson is capable of if there are no rules. If this was Jackie Chan and not Bruce Lee, there'd be no argument. But Lee was a bad ass long before he became a movie star. I have to wonder though if being a movie star, some of his abilities were not as intense as they seemed. I'm not knocking him, but I would do whatever possible to avoid Tyson. The man spent 4 years in jail, I can only imagine what he learned there. It boils down to this, who would you be more scared of if they walked in the same room as you, Tyson or Lee?

"Picks of the Unknown Gambler"
MP4 returned to form on Monday as he shook his losing streak. It should be noted that his second pick, Oakland v. Chicago goes down as a scratch because the "Fat Toad" Bartolo Colon missed his start. Fresh with a winning streak MP4 looks to build some momentum toward the weekend. This would be a good time to buy low on MP4, it's a bull market in the sports betting world right now and MP4 is rising.

Athletics (Outman) @ South Side (Richard) - Over 8.5 - Band Box meet No-Name Pitchers. No-Name Pitchers, Band Box.

Big Red Machine (Cueto) @ St Louie (Loshe) - Over 8 - Cueto goes a perfect three then starts to serve it up. Hopefully Loshe comes back to Earth.

Baseball Giants (Big Unit) +108 @ Nats (Zimmermann) - Big Unit becomes the LAST 300 game winner tonight. Tune in. Or Maybe Not. Great job by ESPN giving the nod to Red Sox/Tigers.

Career Juice: 6-4-1

"What to Expect When You're Expecting"
The latest installment of the "Tale of the Pauper: A Cross Country Trip of Enlightenment". And given that the next post will be on Friday, I will give my summer movie preview. I will give a quick synopsis of the upcoming movies and which ones I expect to be hits. Also our Friday edition will include a video of the day as well as the Weekend Theme Song. We might even have a gripe from Dicky and a Fab 5 from Pasquale but no promises. It's been a big week for two of our correspondents. Pasquale has started a new job, and Dicky is neck deep in destructing his kitchen, so I can't promise anything. I look foward to hearing some feedback on the working title Mailbag and would love to hear your take on Tyson or Lee. So until next time....Stay Sweet.