Keep on Keep Truckin'

So I drew the audience back in, now I need to follow it up. The theme is to keep on keep truckin' and there's NOTHING like a shout out from you VP of sales to kick start some blog creativity. So as you may or may not know...i teased the audience with my big comeback to the blog-o-sphere.

My once in a generation idea is a Drinking Game Manifesto. We have all played drinking games in our day, but there is no one authority or source to find the best games. Well that's what I'm working on. No matter if your sitting around with some buddies trying to take it easy, or if you want to escalate the party the way Lindsay Lohan escalates an AA meeting....we've got your poison.

Having said that, Manifesto's don't happen over night, just ask Karl Marx. I would be doing myself and my audience a terrible injustice if I rushed this manifesto and did not give it the thought and attention that a drinking game manifesto deserves. So I will be out there, crashing parties, playing drinking games, gathering evidence and formulating my thesis.

But I don't want to publish back to back teaser blogs. Instead I had a realization the other night while watching Baseball Tonight. And it sparked a terrible revelation about sports in 2010. Basically that it will never be as good as it once was. Now call me a cynic or a guy trying to hang on to the glory days but I just don't think its going to be as good as it was. I'm going all Tim Kurkjian here, so I present to you......

Why Modern Sports Suck  

I wanted to make the subtitle of this "why Michael Jordan and Pete Rose would be spinning in their legacies". It seems appropriate for several reasons. Jordan and Rose have tarnished their legacies in the years since they have retired. Both, arguably, were the best at what they did in their respective sports. If they went quietly into the night, their legacies would have been solidified and they would be recognized the way their play deserved to be. Instead they both fell victim to their competitive spirit; Rose with his gambling addiction and Jordan with his Hall of Fame speech (And yes Rose's decision has had a much bigger affect on his legacy, but Jordan's public image has taken a huge hit because of this speech, almost to the point where we forget how much we enjoyed watching Jordan dominate). But it was because of their competitive spirit that they were so great. Sports need athletes like Rose and Jordan because without passionate competition, professional sports because more about entertainment and money than it does about winning. Jordan and Rose simply serve as the backbone for why the competitive spirit is all but gone in the modern sports world. Both Rose and Jordan are where they are now, for good or bad, because they were the most competitive players in their sport. 

The reason I decided to write this is because I saw Nomar Garciaparra and Aaron Boone sharing the television screen on Baseball Tonight and it disgusted me. They were laughing and chumming it up like they were old golfing buddies instead of arch rivals. For those that don't know, Boone and Nomar are forever linked together by one of the most famous home runs in the history of baseball. Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS, arguably one of the most memorable postseason games of all time, ended in extra innings when Aaron Boone hit a walkoff home run, sending the Yankees to the World Series and adding another sad chapter to the Red Sox then tortured history. 

I remember everything about that game and that homerun. I know where I was, the explosion of cheers that followed and how angry I still get thinking about it. The second Boone hit it, everyone that was watching knew it was gone. I remember how upset I was as a fan and if I was actually playing for the Red Sox, that moment would stay with me forever. And yet for some reason that homerun and that moment has resonated more with the fans than it SEEMS to have resonated with the players involved. I mean do you think Joe DiMaggio and Ted Williams would be standing where Nomar and Boone are now (and I recognize how ridiculous it is to compare DiMaggio and Williams to Nomar and Boone, but they shared the same rivalry, the so called "greatest rivalry in sports")

And i find this whole lack of competitive spirit totally in line with the biggest story line of the summer, Lebron James. Since I took the summer off from blogging I didn't have an opportunity to address this whole situation but it worked out for the better. We had to sit through "The Decision" and witness one person destroy an entire city the likes of which hasn't been seen since Sherman torched the South during the Civil War. But there's nothing that proves my argument more than Lebron throwing in the white towel to team with two other super stars. Even if Lebron wins a title now, what does that prove? That he's a great team player? Michael Jordan should be the happiest guy in basketball because Lebron has removed himself from the greatest of all time debate. He might put up comparable career numbers and might even win the same amount of championships as Mike, but he will never be mentioned as the G.O.A.T 


My point is this just would not have happened back when winning still mattered. Larry Bird would never have signed with the Lakers to play with Magic. They wanted to show that they were better than the other and spent a lifetime trying to prove it. It reminded me of a story I heard in college. One of my roommates' father played in the NFL, Cliff Harris. He played safety for the Dallas Cowboys from 1970-1979 and during that time he played in 6 pro bowls and 5 Super Bowls. The big rivalry at that time was between the Cowboys and the Steelers and one night at dinner we got to hear Cliff tell stories about the rivalry. It was almost 30 years later and you can still see how much he hated Lynn Swan. He even gave an interview on ESPN a few years ago and said "if he saw Swan laying on the ground today he wouldn't help him up". That kind of competitive spirit just doesn't exist in the modern game. Everyone today is friends with each other, they make too much money for it to be life or death, win or lose. 


But there is one competitive story line that still intrigues me. I never thought I would be drawn in by this example but it's all we have left (if anyone has other examples please let me know). I' referring to Kobe and Shaq. 


Shaq is 38 years old, he can't run the length of the floor, he's pushing 400 pounds and he still can't make a foul shot. But he's back for one more season with the Celtics and the reason is simple. With 4 championships,  15 All-Star appearances, 3 Finals MVP awards, 2 scoring titles and the '99-00 MVP, Shaq is still playing for one reason...because he can't let Kobe win more rings than him. Last year Kobe won his 5th championship, 1 upping Shaq and proving, for now, that Kobe is the better player. Shaq really has nothing left to prove in the NBA, he is a sure fire hall of famer and easily one of the most dominant players of all time. But he had something to prove to himself. He just could not retire knowing that Kobe has won championships, so he signed with Boston hoping to make one last run at the championship. (it might also give us a sequal to Shaq's grammy winning rap, would that be something you'd be interested in?)


And you know what? I'm rooting for him. Because a Boston Celtics championship means that they would have had to defeat King Coward Lebron James and the Miami Heat. And maybe this time Shaq can ask Lebron how his ass tastes. 

We Are BACK

The blog is back. It's been a long time and I'm sure you all thought ETC ETC ETC was dead. Well I have a news flash for you Walter Cronkite....it isn't.

WE ARE BACK.

Listen, I took the Mike Francessa summer hours and I got a little too comfortable with the schedule. It was simple, it was easy, it was like sleeping with Snooki. I heard it from all the critics, the skeptics and the haters. They said ETC had a nice run, but it was destined to fail. Well a wise man, a man also known as the Pauper once said to "trust him, because he's a doctor". Well his words of wisdom fueled the fire for a comeback. Here's what he told me.......

There is a voice telling you to not go on and a voice telling you that stopping and cowering was never an option and will never be an option.  

In these moments, there is fear, but there is also vigor.  There is death but there is also life. There is loss but there is also triumph. This is what it means to be alive.  To strive, to search, to struggle, to be profoundly actualized.....to be.

Take pride in past accomplishments,  find your focus for new ones, expect nothing, take everything, embrace the hate, fuel the desire.

And with those words..........WE ARE BACK!

For those who have read the blog, those who have moderately enjoyed the blog....they know one thing.

We will not go quietly into the night. We will not vanish without a fight. The blog is going to live on. We're going to survive. Today we celebrate.....the Re-Emergence of ETC.

Having said that....this is just a teaser. An idea has been brewing for the past 6 months, an idea to end all blog ideas. It is my Moby Dick, my Great Gatsby, my Catcher In The Rye..... it is my destiny.

And if that has piqued your interest at all, then tune in for the next edition. Because if you know me, if you know my tendencies of drinking, then you will not be disappointed.

Bottom line is this................


WE ARE BACK!!!!!!!!

Doctors, Chicks Flicks and other Really Important Things

We finally cracked the 50 follower barrier and I like to think that the Dancing With The Stars running journal is what put us over the top. It got a surprising amount of feedback ranging from "you're a sick person" to " I couldn't get enough"...so by my standards that a great entry.

And now we must build on that strong performance and kick off June with an even better performance.

As you know The Pauper began his weekly segment of reviews last week with his piece on Robin Hood. And ladies and gentleman it is obvious why the Pauper is going to be a doctor. I had dubbed his entries "Ask a Doctor" and hey, that's not bad. But it's not doctor quality. So the Pauper suggested we call it "Trust Me, I'm A Doctor" and quite frankly there hasn't been a better name change since Gordon Sumner started calling himself Sting.

I asked the good Doctor to weigh in with his opinion on an interesting matter. I was involved in a conversation about "chick flicks" when a new twist to the same played out argument came to my attention. A chick flick that guys can enjoy. Most guys are thinking..."not possible", just like its not possible to find a low fat supreme nacho platter or an entertaining Tyler Perry movie. But a movie was suggested and I asked the Pauper to weigh in on the matter and here's what he had to say......

"Trust Me, I'm a Doctor" 


Relationships are messy and manic.  They more often need a vacuum cleaner rather than a wine opener.  It is a frappe of emotions, tics, childhood baggage, insecurities and utter unmitigated humanity.  They hurt.  They inconvenience our sports fanhood.  They frustrate our need for order and comprehension.  They come with a side order of late night phone calls smothered with placation.  Yet we nevertheless willingly dive into these tepid pools of confusion for various reasons - maybe to experience love, maybe to find the better man inside ourselves, more likely for sexual gratification.  Like Jerry Seinfeld, I don’t think I’ll ever understand but I probably wouldn’t want it any other way.

(500) Days of Summer is an exercise in this misunderstanding (I am going to start with why there are parentheses in the title) in the same family as Annie Hall.   It shows us the gap between our expectations and reality is never small (in a painfully stilted, unsubtle way in one scene).  The film, starring Zooey Deschanel and that dude that spread his arms at Angel Stadium and single handedly saved Tony Danza’s career, was presented to me as the “chick flick that guys can watch”.  After all if there is one thing that guys have a tough time doing its watching movies designed by and for females.  We would much rather be running grueling 90 degree road races, or attempting to eat a single chocolate cupcake with sprinkles in under 10 seconds.  We pull the trigger at 2 AM after 3 consecutive white zinfandel in bud heavy shots so we can drink 3 more.  There is an inherent action over contemplation in our lives. 

Nevertheless, this clever and original film is effective at showing the beauties and pitfalls of a modern love in a manageable way (Buuut I try, I try…  f#&$ you david bowie get out of my goddamn head).  One reason it is manageable is that we are told that this relationship fails in the first 10 minutes.  I would much rather see a train wreck and figure out why than see it arrive at the station and smile at its punctuality.  One of my favorite parts is the soundtrack.  The music is contemporary and skillfully in tune with mood, alternating between effervescence and morose adeptly.  Another is the lack of full-on sentimentality and mushiness, for lack of a better word.   Lastly, there is a definite non-RomCom sense of humor. 

[500] is the deconstruction and study of relationships and relationship movies in general.   It is that uniquely rare self-aware film that knows where you think it’s going in the genre scheme and plays with that.  Traditional gender roles are reversed.   It uses clever little cues to make us aware of this.  It makes fun of our need to frame our lives and relationships in neat little packages and cards – the backdrop of the movie is a Hallmark-type card company.   Tom, the main character, needs order and consistency in his life – holds a Steven Koren-esque passion for architecture, metaphor much??   Moreover, the two best friends of Tom (one is not the little JP that almost gets gipped out of the singular privilege of having Sgt. Murtaugh as a father) offer vignettes of alternatives to dating – one monogamous since 7th grade and the other haplessly non-dating.  

The film is not without shortcomings.  These include the ending (non-first row Yankee coliseum Minka Kelly sighting) and its occasional need to try too hard – see the narrator, massive quantities of Bass Ale being drank in a certain bar scene or the IKEA sequences.  It may be a bit of work for the chronologically challenged as the audience jumps back and forth in time in the relationship.  When all is said and done, the affection we have for this film may be a factor of the level of cynicism we are willing to look at love and relationships with.  So for all the guys in the ether world, I would say that if you are inclined to watch a movie about relationships this should be the one.  And please, when your girlfriend says, “How’s your rigatoni?” don’t just say good, offer her some.  

---------

ETC: "So is it worth seeing? or is it only if a lady friend requests? And as always...where does it rank on the Nic Cage Movie Review System?

Pauper: "3 out of 4 Cages...the review states it all, def worth seeing"

The Pauper is wise. If he wasn't going to be a very successful doctor, it's evident that he would be a very good writer and critic. Remember this segment will be going all summer long, so if you want a doctor's opinion on something, just send in a request on the blog, facebook or email and he will share his thoughts with us.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm about to watch a chick flick. (It's doctor's order)

DWTS Running Journal

So I got hooked on Dancing With The Stars, thanks to Nicole Scherzinger and Erin Andrews. Their 'tractor beams sucked me right in; just like Lloyd Christmas I was helpless. And now the 2 hour Finale is here and I won't lie to my audience...I'm fired up right now.

I think Nicole has this thing in the bag, but honestly I'd be fine with Nicole or Erin. So I'm breaking out the running journal...that's right I'm blogging in real time to Dancing With The Stars....like Ke$ha said "maybe I need some rehab".

AND HERE WE GO....

9:01: Tom Bergeron just greeted us. I could go without Tom but I can't knock the guy, who would have guessed Celebrity Squares would have led him to the #1 show on television. If that's not the American Dream I don't know what is.

9:02 : The early season castoffs are back for an opening number. I'd like to have some stern words with the panel who chooses some of these "stars". In what world is Kate Gosselin a star. Its not called "Dancing with D-List Reality Show Hosts". Gosselin literally just made me induce vomit.

9:04: First shot of Bruno.....it was MAGNIFICENT!

9:06: A nice little profile of Nicole Scherzinger...it really wasn't fair that she was invited on the show being that she's a professional singer/dancer, but good God am I glad they asked her on. I wouldn't have started watching if they hadn't. By the way...her and her partner are definitely banging, no questions about it. Derick must be thinking "all those years of being harassed as a teenager has really paid off".

9:10: First dance from Nicole. Len Goodman, the tough judge loved it. UNREAL reaction from Bruno. He's doing his trademark half stand and yell..."the SEXUALITY was RIVETING!" according to Bruno. My new favorite impression to do is Bruno, how has there not been an SNL skit yet, this is a layup.

9:15: Evan Lycechek is up. He really creeps me out, he looks like a wax statue of himself. His Russian dancer has really grown on me, must be the accent.

9:26: Erin Andrews is up and she looks intense. She just seduced me. (They're definitely bangin too. On last night's episode when Erin was rolling around (see picture) on a bed, Bruno said they had a minor slip up on the bed, and Maks goes "Thats not the bed we practiced on". Good job by you Maks.)The dance was kind of bland, looked good, but not dazzling. Judges loved it though so shes still got a chance. Great reaction from Bruno.

9:30 : Just got a close up of the judges "deliberating". It looked so forced, like they were faking it. If you recall the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Elaine are renting a car and they see the agent talking to her supervisor behind a door. They're not saying anything they're just gesturing so it looks like they are really busy. This looks like the judges are trying to solve a Chinese Algebra equation.

9:32: Nicole takes the top spot after the first round of dances, followed by Evan and then Erin. I have a conspiracy theory that ABC is showcasing Erin Andrews (ABC owns ESPN, the company that Erin works for) after her awful situation with a stalker. If this is at all true, she will survive the first round of voting.

9:33 Just got a shot of Edyta, one of the professional dancers that got eliminated early. And....Smokeshow.

9:38: Question, was Kate Gosselin the worst contestant in the history of the show? I think so. This is the only season I've watched and I'm about 97% confident on that statement. Steven Hawking could dance better.

9:40: Edyta is dancing, if only we were fortunate to have her around for the entire season. I'm completely mesmerized. As you can see from her picture here.

9:41: HAHA most unreal entrance ever by Buzz Aldrin. They have the Star Wars theme playing for the space hero. I don't think he was on the show long enough to be banging his partner, but who knows, those astronauts move quickly. Good for Buzz, and guess what, he's a much better dancer than Gosselin.

9:52: A preview for Sex and the City 2 just aired and it really bothers me. You mean to tell me that Sopranos can just end, but we have to deal with 2 miserable movies of Sex and the City. The one girl is like 60 years old. That's not a cougar, that's Garfield. Come on HBO, you're better than that.

9:55: WOAH, one dancer is about to get eliminated. This caught me way off guard, I didn't think the elimination was until the last hour of the show. I'm nervous, if Erin doesn't make it I'm gonna be pissed. Close up of Erin, she looks concerned. Close up of wax doll, no emotions. Close up of Nicole, man she's hot.......NOOOOO Erin is gone.

9:56: Erin is starting to get choked up, great speech from her. "I came here with crummy circumstances in my life, and you've helped me get my smile back". Maks is choked up also. They are 100% dating. Full tears from Erin while watching the recap of their dancing experience. They get an extra long last dance. I obviously knew she was quite attractive prior to this, but man she is a serious catch. She's got a rare combination of looks, personality and passion for sports. In the words of Champ Kind...."I like the way you're put together....WHAMMY"

10:04: Just got a commercial for "Wipeout", quite possibly the greatest guilty pleasure show on television. You get to watch people get crushed and fall into pools of water while trying to finish obstacle courses.

10:06: There doing some college challenge, and I could care less. Although they are dancing to a Pussycat Doll song. This is very interesting. Foreshadowing anyone? I wonder what Nicole is thinking right now? This has got to be a good Omen. (Side note, I just got off the phone with Dicky and told him Nicole is a pure lock. I really hope I didnt just jinx it for her and have the trophy go to Wax Doll).

10:10: A little celebrity opinion piece. Larry King and Mario Lopez just made cameos haha what a pairing that would be. Let's get Larry on the show, hell we had Buzz on this year, no reason not to see Larry in some suspenders burning up the dancefloor. Final line of that little piece goes to Regis, but I can only think of Dana Carvey doing his Regis impression when I actually hear the real Regis.

10:17: I legitimately just cringed and had to look away from the screen. Kate Gosselin just gave a shameless plug for her 2 new shows. This bothers me so badly, I'm so mad I could spit. I'm sitting in my room and contemplating spitting on my own floors I hate her so much. Horrible job by DWTS here. And now she's dancing to a Lady Gaga song and somewhere Lady Gaga is thinking "this girl has problems".

10:22: Back to business...Nicole is back. I feel like the Seinfeld episode when Newman eats a broccoli and needs to chase it with a shot of honey mustard to cleanse his pallet. Nicole just cleansed my eyes (I would have never thought being compared to honey mustard would be a compliment but thats what Kate Gosselin can do for you)

10:26: Just got taken into Nicole's dressing room. Never thought I'd get to experience that in my life.

10:29: Nice little cameo from Pam Anderson. Like Mike Tyson in the Hangover...."shes still got it".

10:31: Neicy Nash just said "jiggly parts" for the 1,217th time this season.

10:36: We've got smoke machines and flashing lights. It's go time.

10:38: A nice little retrospect piece with Nicole. This piece confirmed they are banging, again good job by Derrick, can't knock the hustle.

10:39: Nicole's last dance. Love it already and I've only seen her for 2 seconds.

10:40: LOCK IT UP. this contest is over.

10:41: The judges are blowing up Nicole. They loved it, the crowd loved. 10's across the board. LOCK IT UP.

10:47: Time for Wax Doll's retrospect piece. His partner Anna, definitely grew on me, she's not on the Edyta/Nicole/Erin level, but shes pretty nice. Wow, looks like these two are banging also, good for Evan.

10:49: I'll give it to Evan, it was a good dance, but he's got no chance. It wasn't even close to Nicole's level. Bruno gave him the thumbs up, but it sure sounded like a consolation prize speech. Same with Len and Carrie Anne Inaba.

10:51: Carrie-Anne Inaba gave Evan a 10, uh oh. Len gives a 9 and so does Bruno. And now were going to get 8 minutes of commercials and cliffhanger moments until they finally reveal the winner. Real quick, how many cliffhanger moments will they cram into the next 9 minutes? My guess is two "And the winner of this season's Dancing with the Stars is.......going to be announced after the break". Bite me textbook ratings ploy.

10:56: HOLY CANOLI...no cliffhangers, we're going right in...A buildup speech by Bergeron and Brooke Burke. And the winnner is................wow really long pause...........NICOLE!!!! Well that made this whole experience worthwhile. Nice 2nd place speech from Wax Doll and now the moment you've all been waiting for.

10:58: Trophy presentation for Nicole and Derrick. Shockingly, there were no tears from Nicole. She had to have expected to win, so she really can't be too shocked. The ceremony was kind of short, I was expecting more, maybe a last dance and a little speech. But I'm nitpicking.

I knew Nicole would win but I'm still satisfied. I have to say overall, this was a good television watching experience for me. I haven't had a lot of shows to follow recently and DWTS gave me what I was looking for. I do think most of my enjoyment came from watching Nicole and Erin, and it really helped that they made it through to the very end. It will be very interesting to see what stars are picked for the next season. I'm saying that my status to watch the next season hinges on what stars are picked, but Pasquale doesn't believe that for a second. He thinks I'm hooked regardless. For your viewing pleasure I've added another picture Nicole just for fun. Nothing wrong with that.


Dancing With The Stars returns September 20th, will I be back to watch? We shall see.....

Anniversary Week Continues

Anniversary week rolls on here at ETC ETC ETC and what a special edition this is. Before we get into the action, make sure you check out the Nic Cage Tribute Video from the last post in case you missed it.


Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls I promised you a special week and we have something really special. Way back when the blog first started, we were blessed with a Gripe from Dicky and it was stellar. The readers demanded more and Dicky was the hottest writer in the blog-o-sphere and then like Keyser Soze, we never heard from him again. Well the anger has boiled over and now he's back and he's taking aim at the social media. It started with a simple email comment in which Dicky said "there's no way people are this happy in real life". So without further adieu.......Heeeeeeere's Dicky


Dicky's Gripe


I have just recently become familiar with the phenomenon known as Facebook...yes i realize that makes me seem either very old since it seems like everyone and their mother has been on facebook for years, or completely out of the loop, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it until recently when I was forced to for business purposes. Now I know what you are asking yourselves: "Dicky, what is wrong with you, how have you lived without Facebook for all of these years." Quite well actually.


There is something to be said for having some sort of privacy in your life. Don't get me wrong, there are some redeeming qualities of social media. It certainly makes it easier to keep in contact with old friends from college etc. etc. etc. (see what I did there). Plus, who doesn't enjoy "creeping" (to borrow a term from a friend) around facebook pictures every now and then. However, it has recently come to my attention that either there are some of the hap hap happiest bunch of assholes in the world on Facebook, or you're all a bunch of liars. The amount of exclamation points and smiley faces being used on facebook is slightly disturbing. "Just had the greatest breakfast ever with my favorite people in the world!!! :)".........really? It's just breakfast, get over it. In an hour you will probably be sitting on the toilet because of that breakfast and if I see someone post "Just had the greatest shit ever in my favorite stall!!!" I'm just going to snap.


I refuse to believe that everyone is really that thrilled with the way their day is going, and if you are I would kindly request the name and number of your drug dealer. Maybe its filling some sort of void in your actual life, and you feel you have to come across as the happiest person in the world on facebook. Maybe you are trying to make everyone else jealous of that amazing breakfast that you had for whatever reason. I can't put my finger on the reasons behind why people feel the need to just gloat about their day, but let's tone it down a little bit shall we. I know I may be a little more cynical than most (its genetics) but I don't think I'm the only person that feels this way. I know for a fact there are several contributors to this blog that have in fact rid themselves of facebook because they couldn't handle it anymore. I won't go that far because like I said, it can have some redeeming qualities but I propose this advice: lets try to keep it real people


Great to have you back Dicky.


For those who have followed the blog I'm sure your remember The Pauper (if you don't check the archives. and shame on you). His cross country trip of enlightenment has put him on the road to becoming a doctor. After 1 full year of Med School he doesn't seem any more doctor-y to me, aside from the expert opinions he provides and the white lab coat he's been sporting lately. But he's got one last summer of relaxation and has agreed to a new role here at ETC ETC ETC. Every Thursday the Pauper will review whatever we want him to review....a movie, tv show, sporting event, news story, fine wines, rare cheeses, new flavors of gum....whatever we want. So we will open up the phone lines for requests and anything can be submitted via comments on the blog, email or facebook (see what I did there Dicky). For his first piece, I asked the Pauper to see and review the movie Robin Hood, the number 1 most anticipated movie of the summer. So here's the Pauper in his new segment that I'm calling........

Ask A Doctor

“Thank god all the bad guys wear dark eyeliner or else I wouldn’t be able to tell they were bad guys…” commented one of the females with whom I saw the movie (Don’t read into that statement) Robin Hood invoking a timeless observation of good and evil.

This is a useful trick (less a disappearing card and more a James Pancotti Halloween tactic – crude and effective) that lots of filmmakers use to emphasize dichotomies in a story – one that anyone who didn’t lick a frog or snort cat’s pee when they watched Joaquin Phoenix in Gladiator knows. Nevertheless, this brings us to an important point: You didn’t care or even notice in Gladiator because the story was utterly engrossing, linear and reasonable. In Robin Hood a viewer picked up on these subtle things because the story didn’t keep you interested – Malarkey from Band of Brothers making wise-ass jokes, the pissed-off commando from Lost scouring the English “jungle” for large women and Cate Blanchett telling Crowe that she sleeps with a knife and she’ll cut off his genitals. Somewhere among all of this Robin Hood breaks apart when you attempt to work out in your mind what precisely you are watching.

So how does this occur and why? Imagine you’re ready an extra ½ hour to an hour early one morning for work or school. You snag your cup of Joe and you say to yourself - “Yes, this is my f@#$ing day”. You hop into your tunafish can-colored ‘96 Chevy Impala and decide to take the long scenic route to get to your destination because you can. It will be fun you say and you may learn something new about a back road that can save you time in the future. You can imagine where this is going – You get lost, blow the suspension, spill the joe on the Dockers and waddle into work only to hear “Goddamn it Johnson, this isn’t a Creed concert – please, on time and without piss stains on your pants” We are in the backseat of Ridley Scott’s Impala. I don’t want to discourage this among the fledgling filmmakers out there – sometimes that road goes somewhere and you learn something new about the trip or yourself. In this case, it didn’t. The journey was quite novel and picturesque through the window (if those goddamn back windows went all the way down it would have been very scenic), but he lost touch with the realistic “historically accurate” story of Robin Hood that he proffered. His story sits in a no-mans land between the epically imaginary and the historically accurate (see Crowe putting an arrow through the carotid artery of the villain at 500 yards out).

Moreover, the people in the entertainment industry and those being entertained have this growing need for our entertainment to be “historically accurate” as if a make-uped Russell Crowe is not enough to dismount that claim. I have no problem with this trend in general. A demand for factual foundation could do all of us and ESPN a little good. The problem exists in using it as a ruse, which I hate to say Ridley Scott does here. There is a scene where Robin Hood demands of the King of England “liberty by law” and prepares a document to that end. Historically, we know this coerced document to be the Magna Carta of the year 1215, an early harbinger of republican government and a heftily cited “ground zero” for liberty in Western Europe. Thus the following thought albeit lengthily worded (I apologize in advance) ensued in my head:

Am I being asked to believe that Robin Hood - a man who by virtue of not being a clergyman was likely illiterate - was

1) the brains behind arguably the most important document in Western European history espousing republican principles and

2) a well-nautilused, brawny, sinewy “William Wallace” who led armies and charged beachheads giving the King of England advice on tactics?

Ridley Scott may beg to differ and forcefully reply back “Are you not entertained!!” I could only reply: So Mr. Scott, what is Michael Bay drinking these days? Still demolishing those bay breezes like they were on-set buses?

Don’t get me wrong. I like Ridley Scott. I enjoyed Kingdom of Heaven, White Squall and Blade Runner among others. I loved Gladiator. He has ability, he has creativity and he has style. Nevertheless, we see Crowe and Ridley Scott together here as a victim of their own success. Robin Hood was always a dude singing forest hymns and wearing a green leotard until Costner and Crowe donned leather hoods and cloaks. His story, like King Arthur’s, is a constellation of myth and fact set in a watershed moment in English History. After this movie we remain in a similar limbo about Robin Hood. Some will enjoy the mottling of action sequences threaded together throughout the movie but the fact remains that Robin Hood does not give them a reasonable context. Even though the beautiful scenery of this movie illuminates a 12^th century world we have yet to see on screen as fully and as masterfully as Scott imagines it here, Robin Hood nevertheless falls short by attempting to crystallize a legend in a neat and tidy way with all the historical corners tucked in, a legend that probably is not meant to be crystallized.

So this kicks off a summer series of reviews. Each week, probably every Thursday I will write a review for the blog. As you know this blog prides itself in being accessible and interactive, we will be accepting any and all suggestions. I am willing to review any sporting event, TV show episode/series, movies including and especially movies like Plan 9 from Outer Space (Seinfeld fans will know this as “the one that works”).

(Sidenote: I actually saw that movie recently as well as the Tim Burton biopic about its odd cross-dressing director, Ed Wood - Johnny Depp stars. Its like pretending to drop acid on Wednesday afternoon)

All ideas are welcome including reviews of mid-80’s McEnroe v. Connors Wimbledon matches.

Please forward all requests to the godfather himself, Mr. Ryan Cazalet.

Please forward all hate mail his way as well and he can give me an itemized list of my wrong doings with the phrase “Good morning Mr. Phelps” at the top.

So if you liked this review or hated it and know I can do better, I invite you to join me every Thursday night this summer with a fresh Marlboro 100 (maybe Snus and a beer these days) or a glass of milk and cookies, on your iphone or on your computer, at the bar or in bed and we will share in the simple delights of civilization. Every writer (I use this term very loosely with myself) likes to imagine his readers with both a pleasant summer breeze and a slight smurk on their face under a deep purple orange twilight. So meet me there if you dare, I’ll have the box of wine.

Thanks Pauper for that insightful critique. I have now adjusted my Summer Movie Preview, and officially declare Inception to be my new number 1 most anticipated.

I asked the Pauper to use the Nic Cage Movie Review System for Robin Hood ....

Me: So let me ask you for your official review of Robin Hood on the Nic Cage Movie Review System, 1-4 Cages, 1 being Bad Lieutenant and 4 being Stan Goodspeed in the Rock

Pauper: 2 cages and a "Caster Troy" = 2.5

So here it is...2 Cages and a Castor Troy. The Request lines are open for anyone who wants to "Ask a Doctor" and have something reviewed. So until next time, as always....STAY CLASSY!

ETC Anniversary

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ETC ETC ETC! It's officially been 1 year since the blog has been up and going and I can't even begin to tell you how many lives we've touched. People like the Prime Minister of England, and my cousin Harry, you and me, the fat kid from "what's happening", the Olsen twins, Natalie Portman, the guy who wrote "Catcher in the Rye", Nat King Cole, Carrot Top, Jay-Z, Weird Al Yankovich, Harry Potter, if he existed, the whore on the street corner, your mother. We're all one.

Our goal was to get 50 followers in the first year and we fell just short. We came in 49 and that's not too shabby. So if you're reading this and you are not a follower, please sign up on the right hand side. It's simple and easy and the 50th person will get a fantastic gift courtesy of ETC (Have you ever heard of Williard?)

So we are rolling our the red carpet for some of our prestigious contributors that you have come to know and love. I have petitioned Obama to declare this ETC week but he hasn't gotten back to me yet, thanks healthcare reform. So that means all week we are going to have pieces from people like MP4 and the Pauper, Pasquale and Dicky, Yahtzee and Steamin' Willie Beamen. And how could we possibly have an anniversary week without some good old fashioned Nic Cage fun.

So tonight I am going to give you two very special pieces, an anniversary double dip of the Fab 5 from Pasquale and an ETC ETC ETC original video paying homage to the man, the myth, the legend...Nic Cage.

So here's Pasquale....

Fab 5 


since its the one year blog anniversary, i'll give you 5 to hate and 5 to love, that's 10 for the price of 5, usually you pay double for that kind of action

5 Things to Love

24/7 - If you're not familiar with 24/7 be sure to make a point to watch it the next time its on. 24/7 chronicles the 4 weeks leading up to a big boxing match. The theme song get me fired up and the narrator can make just about anything seem interesting. In some cases the 24/7 is actually more entertaining than the fight. I think all 24/7 fans are keeping their fingers crossed for mayweather/pacquiao. If you don't watch 24/7 or haven't watched it before, do yourself a favor and watch the next one.

Arthur Ave - Arthur ave is the little italy of the bronx. A few members of the etc, etc, etc staff were on arthur ave this past weekend and enjoyed an absolute feast. If you live in the new york area and have never been, make a point to head there and grab a meal, make sure that meal includes appetizers, full dinner, and desert at one of the many pastry shops in the neighborhood.

The Transitive Property - You can use the transitive property to prove almost anything. Here is one of my favorite examples of the transitive property at work. I hate Harry Connick Jr. Michael Buble sounds like Harry Connick Jr, so by the transitive property of hatred, I hate Harry Connick Jr.

South Park - For the last 13 years South Park has been the most relevant, up to date show on television. South Park might look like a low budget, poorly drawn cartoon show, but there are always underlying themes and lessons in the adventures of the kids from South Park. If you were in a coma for the last 13 years and wanted to get caught up on what had happened in the world while getting a laugh, South Park would be your best bet, and don't tell me its just a profane cartoon. If you think its just a profane cartoon, you're not watching.

Winning Time - This 30 in 30 documentary brought back the horror show that was reggie miller versus the new york knicks. While watching Reggie torch the knicks was difficult, it made me realize how good those games used to be. The NBA has gone soft now, most super stars are more concerned with their personal brand and image than winning. The mid 90's Knicks had the no lay up rule, which is among the greatest rules in professional sports, unfortunately you don't see much of this rule anymore.

5 things to hate

Long Sleeve Dress Shirts - These shirts absolutely kill me. It has nothing to do with getting dressed up. The elbows always rip. No matter what. It pisses me off. If someone can invent a reasonably priced long sleeved dress shirt with elbows that don't rip, they'll be a millionaire.

Fans who run on the field - Recently in Philadelphia, fans have been running on the field during the game. One moron who ran on the field was hit with a taser and there was some public backlash over the usage of said taser. are you kidding m?, if you're dumb enough to run on the field you should have to deal with the consequences whether that be a cop beating you down, a player tackling you, or being tased with serious amounts of voltage.

Religion - Religion really bugs the shit out of me. I was raised a catholic, so I'm particularly up to date on how ridiculous the catholic church is, but I'm an equal opportunity hater when it comes to religion. Each religion is completely full of shit in its own way. If you dislike religion, watch religulous, which is a film by bill maher where travels the world speaking with members of various religions and basically shitting on each of them. I don't mind if you are religious, i'm kind of envious of people who have strong beliefs like that, just don't talk to me about religion. There is nothing more obnoxious than someone who is outspoken about their religion and loves to point out to people how what they do is right and what you do is wrong. just keep it to yourself.

PSL's -  I don't even need to explain this one. PSL's just blow. *EDITORS NOTE: PSL stands for Personal Seat License. A scam sport teams are using to milk thousands of dollars from their fans*

Internet Acronyms - Just don't use them. If you used them when you were in middle school, i might be able to give you a pass. But if you use them now, don't. just don't. 



That's why we love Pasquale. To those who don't listen to sports talk radio you might not think this is a compliment, but quite frankly its the highest praise you can give.....Thats a Good Job by you.


A Nic Cage Tribute 


So for quite some time now ETC has featured the Trademarked Nic Cage Movie Review System. People have come to know and love it but may not understand where it originated from. Yes we all love Nic Cage, that goes without speaking. But a casual conversation with a friend of the blog resulted in the following conversation. Most readers know who said it, but they will remain nameless...


"I was drinking some white zinfandel and watching a Nic Cage marathon" 


Nothing wrong with that my friend. And from that innocent conversation a drink came to fruition...the Cage Bomb (a shot of white zinfandel dropped into a glass of beer. shockingly not as bad as it sounds) 


We know Nic Cage, we love Nic Cage. He's experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of the lows. And so its only fitting that after being the most prominent figure thus far in the history of ETC, that I should show my appreciation by putting together a tribute video. So here is an ETC ETC ETC world premiere video I made....Nic Cage Tribute  

2nd Annual Summer Movie Preview

Seeing as Iron Man 2 hits theaters tomorrow I decided I am taking a break from the Ultimate Showdown debate with Mr. IMDB, Lenny the Critic in order to bring you the 2nd Annual summer blockbuster preview. So if you are new-ish to the blog this is the edition in which I analyze 10 movies that are being released this summer and what my expectations are for them. Last year I predicted that Harry Potter would be the top earning movie, just nudging out Transformers. Well I was very close but Transformers took the top earning spot of the summer (Transformers and Potter were number 2 and 3 for the entire year behind only Avatar, which opened in December and not on my summer list).

My format is slightly different this year. Some people were confused by the incorporation of the Nic Cage Movie Review System. They thought I had already seen the movie and given it a rating. So instead I will rank them from 10 to 1, least excited to most excited to see. Without further adieu, the 10 summer movies I'm most excited to see....(Sex and the City 2 will NOT be mentioned)

As usual, you can click on the title of the movie to see it's trailer.

10. Cyrus (July 9)- This one stars John C. Reilly and Jonah Hill and has been under the radar so far. Reilly is a down on his luck guy who finally meets a girl thats into him (Marissa Tomei). It turns out she has an awkward 20 something son that still lives with her. It's not a pure slapstick movie that we've come to expect from these two, but it definitely looks funny and could be a surprise hit.

9. Knight and Day (June 25)- This is either going to be a big hit or a huge disappointment. It's got Cruise and Cameron Diaz and it almost has a Mr. & Mrs. Smith feel to it. Cruise is a mysterious secret agent who goes on the run with Diaz and it looks like there are a bunch of plot twists and character developments. It looks like it's an action comedy, which is dangerous ground as it could be a good balance or way too cheesy. I'm banking that Cruise comes through in a role that is right up his alley. He's usually reliable with action movies.

8. Shrek Forever After (May 21) - Shrek is back. The last installment was not as good as the first two, so Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy are back to try and end the saga on a high note. The first Shrek was very funny and based on the preview, the final chapter looks like it will be just as good. It's basically a bizarro world in which every character is the complete opposite, including a fat and lazy puss N' boots. This has a chance to be the highest grossest movie of the summer due to its appeal to both kids and grown ups. Not sure where I fall on the kids/grown ups scale, but I'd like to see this.

7. Get Him To The Greek (June 4) - Aldice Snow is back. For those who don't recognize the name, Aldice Snow is the British rocker in Forgetting Sarah Marshall played by Russell Brand. Also returning in the spin-off is Jonah Hill, who played the creepy hotel worker who wants to be a musician. In this new version, Hill is an assistant for a music label and he must convince Aldice to perform at a concert. I would expect the same over the top humor from Marshall but I don't expect this to be as good as its original.

6. The Sorcerer's Apprentice (July 16th) - This is my sleeper pick of the summer, and not just because it's been years since my boy Cage has made a good movie. If you follow the blog then you know we've heard rumors about this movie last year when Paulie Walnuts snapped a pic of Nic Cage in costume, woofing down a slice of pizza in NYC. To be honest I thought this movie was either a dream or someone's idea of sick prank being pulled on me. Well I was wrong...its finally here. Jerry Brockheimer is producing so its going to have huge special effects and crazy CGI stunts not to mention people love the whole wizard/magician thing lately so I think its going to be surprise hit. God knows Cage needs the money now more than ever.

5. Toy Story 3 (June 18) - It was Pixar's first movie and it was a classic. Now Tom Hanks and Tim Allen are back as Woody and Buzz Lightyear as they deal with Andy going off to college. Pixar doesn't make bad movies (see Toy Story 1, Finding Nemo, Up) and it looks like they've got another hit with the last installment of the series that made them famous. My issue with this is that it's more of a kids movie than Shrek, and I am not going to see 2 "kids/cartoon" movies in one summer. Having said that, kids are going to eat this movie up.

4. Grown Ups (June 25) - Adam Sandler, Chris Rock and Kevin James star along with David Spade and Rob Schneider (who are both only funny when they're in movies with the guys mentioned) as childhood friends who get together for the first time in almost 30 years. Its the old SNL in the early 90's group back together so I have to imagine its going to be funny. And its hard to not to think that Kevin James' role would have been played by Chris Farley if he was still alive, but I find James to be very funny and think he will do just fine with Sandler and Chris Rock.

3. Inception (July 16) - I'm very fired up for this movie, but some people might disagree. It's kind of trippy and the previews don't even really explain what the movie is about but its got Leo in the lead role and its directed by Christopher Nolan who gave us The Dark Knight. It looks like The Matrix with it's slow motion action and it seems like it takes place inside people's memories. It's going to be action packed, thrilling and intense and I've got really high expectations for this one. It's my wildcard for highest grossing movie due to Leo as the star and this being Nolan's first movie since The Dark Knight. This might just be an opening night attendance movie for me.

2. Iron Man 2 (May 7) - I originally had this as my number 1 most anticipated movie, but then I watched some trailers and decided to put this at 2. Its probably more like 1b and the top  movie is 1a but this is a top 10 list not a cop-out list. However, I think this is going to be the highest grossing movie of the summer (the trailer has over 30 million views already). It's got a built in audience already and is easily the most anticipated movie of the summer. To add on to that, we now have Scarlett Johansson in a tight leather suit and the addition of Mickey Rouke as the villain is pure genius. I was unsure about the original and didn't see it in theaters. That was a mistake I will not make with the sequal because I thoroughly enjoyed the first installment. Robert Downey Jr has emerged as the most dynamic actor of the past 5 years and is perfectly cast as Tony Stark. In my younger years, I might go see this at midnight tonight but I don't have the stamina for that. I will see this one hopefully this upcoming weekend, but I will most certainly have a Nic Cage Movie Review within the week. This is pretty much the definition of a summer blockbuster. I think its a lock for the top earning movie of the summer, the only question is...can it catch The Dark Knight for biggest weekend opening of all time?

1. Robin Hood (May 14) - We all know the Robin Hood story but Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott are out to prove that Robin Hood was a bad-ass and not some "take from the rich, give to the poor" philanthropist. If this is half as good as Gladiator it will be amazing, and based on the trailer it looks like it will not disappoint. I can't expect it to be as good as Gladiator because that's just not fair, but this looks like it could be more action packed believe it or not. I don't think it will gross as much as Iron Man, but I am more excited to see this. I saw a teaser preview during the Super Bowl in January and I've been looking forward to its release since then. Russell Crowe is on the short list of actors that I think doesn't give bad performances and I would see pretty much anything that he makes. I did flip flop this a few times with Iron Man and Inception, but I decided to go with this as my number 1 most anticipated movie of the summer.

Honorable Mentions: Jonah Hex (Megan Fox is the only reason why I might consider seeing this. Although if I was an actor I guess I would sign on to do a shitty movie if it meant I would have a sex scene with her, good job by Josh Brolin) , The Other Guys (can Will Ferrell finally rebound and make a funny movie. Its got Eva Mendes and Mark Wahlberg so its possible.), Despicable Me (another cartoon, I can't possibly consider 3 in one summer so I won't be seeing this one) and Dinner For Schmucks (Paul Rudd and Steve Carrell, sounds like it can't miss but the preview isn't great).

Well that wraps up the 2nd Annual Summer Movie Preview. To recap, my sleeper hit is The Sorcerer's Apprentice (no that's not a joke), my wildcard for the top earning movie is Inception and my pick for the top earning Summer movie of 2010 is Iron Man 2. If any readers see these movies, feel free to leave a comment or an email about them and I will compare my thoughts with yours. So until next time, as always.....STAY SWEET!

Ultimate Showdown Part 2

We're back to continue the debate of the 100 movies to see before you die, modern classics. Once again I welcome to the forum Mr. IMDB himself, Lenny the Critic to help me break down the years 1996, '97 and '98. If you missed part 1, check it out here.

1996

ETC: so i figured its about time to continue the Ultimate Showdow pt. 2. we left off with 1996 and we will cover '96 '97 and '98....

Yahoo's picks: Big Night, Dead Man, Fargo, Ghost in the Shell, Lone Star, Scream, Secrets and Lies, Sling Blade, Swingers, Trainspotting

I totally agree with Scream being on the list. Despite my well known hatred/fear of scary movies I have to admit this was one of the better scary movies of all time (2nd in my opinion to the original Nightmare on Elm Street). What I like about Scream was that it was entirely realistic. It wasn't some supernatural being who can't be killed, it was a couple of psychos who terrorized a town. Having said that, I'll never watch it ever again. But the best of this class, and a movie that I'd put in my top 5 of the modern classic list is Swingers. I love this movie and it really put Vince Vaughn on the map. It also helped make Vegas cool again. I can't back that claim up, but it seems like the whole "Vegas baby" lifestyle really took off after this movie (see Oceans 11,12 and 13, What Happens in Vegas, Vegas Vacation, 21, Hangover).

As for the other movies they've listed I have to disagree with them all. Amazingly, I haven't seen Fargo. I've only heard good things about it but it looks a little wierd however that is to be expected from the Coen Brothers I guess. I think the most obvious snub of this year is Jerry Maguire. Despite having a heavy chick flick feel, its a great movie. Cuba Gooding Jr's only good role and it earned him an Oscar and not to mention Cruise's best acting performance of his career (not his best movie, but probably his best performance). I'm very surprised this got snubbed but Billy Bob Thorton and Sling Blade made the list.

Some others that are personal favorites that probably don't deserve the "modern classic" title but a case could be made for them include, Mission Impossible (if 94 was the Carrey Debacle perhaps 96 is the Cruise Catastrophe) The Rock, That Thing You Do, The Cable Guy, Primal Fear and the "good, bad movie" super trifecta of Twister, Indepedence Day and Executive Decision.

And I've never seen the English Patient, but I'm glad it's left off the list just because of my support for Seinfeld and their thoughts on the movie, specifically Elaine's take.

MR. IDMB, Lenny the Critic: I admit I only saw 2 movies on this list. I totally agree about Scream needing to be on the list. It rebirthed the slasher movie craze for the modern era. Swingers is one of my favorite movies, could put it in my top 10 overall. The movie that really started Vince Vaughn’s career and coined the phrase “You are so money baby and you don’t even know it.” And find one person who goes to Vegas and doesn’t say “VEGAS BABY VEGAS” at some point during their time there and I will fund your trip to Vegas.

Cannot argue about any of the movies on your snubs list, Jerry Maguire being at the top of the list. I agree with all of the others, and would like to note that Primal Fear may be the best movie that nobody has ever heard of, easily in my top 5. The Rock (Nic Cage’s best movie in my opinion, and Independence Day with one of, if not the greatest movie speeches of all time (future blog debate?)

ETC: I'm so glad you mentioned the Independence Day speech because it is one of the greatest movie speeches of all time, at least on the unintentional comedy scale. It so happens that I included the famous Bill Pullman speech in a past blog, the 4th of July entry as a matter of fact when I went to DC for the weekend. I noticed the party was beginning to fade so i pulled up the speech on youtube and the party responded exactly how President Thomas J. Whitmore intended. The drinking games intensified, the beer began to flow like wine and the women flocked to the party like the salmon of Capistrano. Needless to say, it became an hourly tradition and something that will continue this year as well.

Mr. IMDB, LTC: WE WILL NOT GO QUIETLY INTO THE NIGHT, WE WILL NOT VANISH WITHOUT A FIGHT.....

love it

1997

Yahoo's Picks: Boogie Nights, Eve's Bayou, L.A. Confidential, The Sweet Hereafter, Titanic

Mr. IMDB, LTC: Despite having the richest movie ever up until recently, it's kind of a lean year, only a few snubs that I could really argue to make the list.

I have only seen 2 of these movies in Boogie Nights and Titanic. Two movies that couldn’t be any more different, but both are must sees for very different reasons. Boogie Nights is probably the most unique movies I have seen and has a few great scenes with young hot Heather Graham. Titanic, despite being the love story of all love stories when it comes to movies, is a great movie. I have no problem saying that, it is a great movie. I am a huge Leo DiCaprio fan in pretty much any movie he does and he was very good in Titanic. Also, if you haven’t seen Titanic, that is just bizarre.

One movie that I definitely see as a snub is Good Will Hunting. A great script written by Damon and Affleck that launched their careers into orbit. Incredible performance from Robin Williams, all around great movie. I am a big fan of Air Force One, Harrison Ford at his best. Finally, shout out to Cage in Face/Off. I have to admit I had not seen it until very recently, and I enjoyed it.

Again, a lean year in my opinion.

ETC: As for '97, I'm in agreement. Boogie Nights is a must see, very different type of movie but totally captures the meteoric rise to fame/money/sucess and how quickly you fall from the top. Also totally changed the direction of Mark Wahlberg's career. He was still in the whole Marky Mark phase but after this movie he became a movie star.

As much as Pasquale is going to hate me for saying this, I totally agree about Titanic. It's a landmark movie, probably one of the 5 most memorable movies of all time and is the love story to end all love stories (the notebook might make a run at that title but I think it falls short). I actually saw this movie twice in the theaters and girls were crying like they lost a family member. I also am a huge fan of Leo and this is the first time I really noticed how good he was as an actor. Kate Winslett will always have a special place in my memory thanks to the famous diamond necklace drawing scene that is fantastic for a PG-13 movie and 12 year old boys.


I've seen LA Confidential and I enjoyed it but no way it deserves to be on the list ahead of Good Will Hunting. In fact this is the biggest snub to date because I think this movie might be in my top 5 movies of all time, but easily falls in my top 10. Its almost incomprehensible that this was left off the list and detracts from the credibility of Yahoo's list. Robin Williams was amazing in this movie and Damon and Affleck's script is one of the finest I've ever seen. Think about how many great speeches and moments there are in that movie. It's also Affleck's best performance as an actor and is really the only reason why I like him, even after all the bad movies hes made since then.

The other huge snubs in my opinion are As Good As It Gets, a movie in which Jack Nicholson won another Best Actor Oscar and Austin Powers International Man Of Mystery. I think if we're talking about memorable movies, Austin Powers has to be mentioned. It's such a good spoof that most people think its just a straight comedy. And as for As Good As It Gets I think that's a movie that gets overlooked. When I first saw it, I totally didn't get half the references and the deep theme of the movie, but now that I'm older and (not) more mature I like the movie much more. Also a few others that were left off were Liar Liar (Carrey still gets no love) Donnie Brasco and Men In Black.

We have to give a shout out to Cage here for his performance in Face/Off. When he was Castor Troy in the beginning, he was excellent. But when he was the husband he wasn't that good. Its a solid movie but by no means should be on the most memorable list. Same goes for Air Force One, a film that is a regular in our "good, bad movies" marathon and a favorite of Pasquale.

On to '98....

1998

Yahoo's Picks: The Big Lebowski, Out of Sight, Saving Private Ryan, There's Something About Mary

ETC: I agree with Lebowski, Saving Private Ryan and There's Something About Mary. The first time I saw Lebowski I didn't like it at all and I still don't love the movie. But the Dude is great and John Goodman as Walter makes the movie worth seeing.

Saving Private Ryan is fantastic, there really isn't a flaw in this movie. As of now its in the top 5 of this entire list for the years we've covered (90-'98 with Goodfellas, Forrest Gump, Titanic and Swingers rounding out the list). The opening scene at Normandy is so real and intense that I heard WWII veterans didn't want to watch it because of how accurate it was. I really can't say enough good things about this movie and its a travesty that Shakespeare in Love beat this movie out for Best Picture.

There's Something About Mary was the first R rated comedy I saw in the theaters and it was so funny that it marked the first time I cried from laughter at a movie (Anchorman holds my personal record with 3 seperate "tears of laughter moments"). There are so many great moments from this movie like the "zipper scene", the battle royale between Ben Stiller and a puppy and of course the infamous hair gel scene. Absolute classic comedy that sometimes gets overlooked.

I haven't seen Out of Sight so I can't knock this one only because I've heard good things about it. Hard to argue with Clooney and J-Lo in her prime and I just watched the trailer and it looks like a movie I would enjoy. Having said that, there are some notable snubs that should be talked about. The most noticable exceptions include Rounders, a movie that I never get sick of and knowing our shared affinity for gambling I think you would agree with that assesment. Jim Carrey continues to get no love as the Truman Show is left off the list, a movie that I would argue deserves mention and possibly a spot on the list. It's incredibly unique and the first of a slew of legitimate acting performances from Carrey, not to mention the always reliable Ed Harris. Another solid movie is Enemy of the State, a movie that makes me totally paranoid about the capabilities of technology (and seeing the new features of facebook and google I'd say this movie is way ahead of its time)

A few movies that I enjoy but don't consider modern classics at all include Nic Cage as Rick Santoro, a shady cop who finds himself in the middle of a murder conspiracy at an Atlantic City boxing match in the movie Snake Eyes. Another movie I like a lot is He Got Game and you can't argue with Denzel, especially when his character blurs the line between good guy and bad guy. Not to mention Will Ferrell's first starring role in "A Night at the Roxbuy" and i was like "EMILIOOOOO". Also '98 is unofficially dubbed the meteor year as both Armageddon and Deep Impact hit the theaters this year (Interesting side note, '97 was the unofficially dubbed volcano year as both Dante's Peak and Volcano came out. Why do natural disaster movies come in pairs? Keep your eye open for 2010's "Nor'easter" and "Tropical Storm Ernesto" coming to theaters soon).

Mr. IMDB, LTC: Saving Private Ryan, I don’t think there’s anything that needs to be said, arguably the best war movie made. There’s Something About Mary is another no brainer. The movie managed to walk a line between raunchy, gross-out comedy and a romantic comedy. Stiller is great, Cameron Diaz is hot, Matt Dillon is hilarious, and a great cameo by Brett Favre. I was interested to see your assessment of The Big Lebowski. It is a cult favorite amongst a lot of people, and when I had said I hadn’t seen it, people looked me like I was crazy, so I finally watched it and here is what I think. The Big Lebowski is the most overrated movie I have ever seen. I said it. Maybe because it was so hyped up, it did nothing. I remember saying at the end “that’s it?” Hopefully I haven’t offended too many people, but that’s how I feel.

I agree with all of those snubs you mentioned, so I won’t wast time commenting on them, but I will discuss a few that may have been overlooked. Edward Norton is my favorite actor, and I loved your mentioning of Rounders. But in my opinion, other than Primal Fear, Norton’s best performance is American History X. A movie that shows the harsh reality of hatred and racisim and Norton’s transformation after being locked up. An extremely powerful movie on an unbelievably touchy subject, really displaying Norton’s flexibility and range as an actor. Definitely could argue that this should be on the list

Another movie that I believe flies under the radar, in terms of being a good movie, is Wild Things. Wild Things hides behind is intense sex scenes (yes, Denise Richard is smoking in it despite her pretty awful acting), it actually has a pretty decent plot line with endless amounts of unexpected twists and turns. Now it would be ludicrous for me to say that it should make the list, but potentially a movie that gets overlooked based on its stereotype.



Well that sums up Part 2 of the Ultimate Showdown Debate as we covered 1996-1998. We are about to enter the 2000's and there are a ton of movies to talk about so I think it will only get more interesting from here. Again we love to hear feedback and if you have any thoughts about our reviews feel free to leave a comment and we will address them in the next post. For the record, so far our Top 5 movies from 1990-1998 are Goodfellas, Saving Private Ryan, Forrest Gump, Titanic and Swingers. Keep an eye out for Part 3 where we will debate the years 1999, 2000 and 2001. So until next time, as always......STAY SWEET!

The Ultimate Showdown Part 1

ETC nation, we are about to embark on a first here at ETC ETC ETC. A casual email about the "100 movies to see before you die" has turned into a serious back and forth email conversation between myself and Mr. IMDB himself, Lenny the Critic. Not only did we have an email chain going, but we were also having a Gmail Chat at the same time, so some of our conversation will be mixed in to the conversation as well.

So lets get right into and understand that both myself and Mr. IMDB himself, Lenny the Critic agree that we could write an entire book on this......

(Be sure to click the link so you can follow along with the list of the movies for each year)

Mr. IMDB, Lenny the Critic: Count how many movies you have seen on this list and then compare

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/100-movies-to-see-before-you-die-modern-classics.html

ETC: this would be a stellar blog entry. i think we should have good back and forth email convo about this and get it up on the blog. this is heavy though so its going to have to be well analyzed and broken up into segments.

Mr. IMDB, LTC: most underrated on the list in my opinion is the Matrix



I thought the first installment of the Matrix is one of the most clever movies i had seen, not to mention the sick special effects for a movie made in the 90s

ETC: definitely the most creative/innovative/copied movies probably on that list. im not sure if its underrated, i feel like everyones seen it or at least heard about it. i might have to give the underrated award to almost famous. that doesn't even have a little tag next to it that says "why you should see it"

Mr. IMDB, LTC: almost famous is a very good movie, but in my opinion its rewatchability is suspect


a very underrated movie that i just saw looking through it again is Memento. Christopher Nolan, the guy who directed the new batman movies, directed it. one of those movies that messes with your head to the point where you have no idea whats going on until the very end, much like Basic.

ETC: very true. almost famous is a little slow and parts do drag, but i like it alot. memento is great, thats very under the radar

ok so i like the breakdown so far, that can be a great intro to start off the blog convo but lets do this by 3 year periods and then some major awards like best of the list, underrated/overrated, worst movie(shouldnt be on the list) etc....

so starting with 1990-1992 i think the best movies from this period are CLEARLY goodfellas and silence of the lambs with thelma and louise, beauty and the beast and unforgiven just behind. in fact that would be my top 5 from this block. I'd even nominate Goodfellas to be a potential top 3/5 of this entire list.

For the most part the movies listed are pretty solid and should be on the list but clearly there are some that shouldn't be on there and some others that have been left off.

i have a big problem with 1992. I've never even heard of hard boiled (im guessing its foreign), ive never seen the player, no way supercop should be on there, and raise the red lantern looks foreign too.

some noticable absentees include...
1990- home alone, pretty woman
1991- point break (even though it shouldnt be on the list i love it and want to talk about it)
1992- reservoir dogs, a league of their own, a few good men

Mr. IMDB, LTC: I honestly dont think i could disagree with anything you just said



Goodfellas is definitely at the top of the list in this group followed by silence of the lambs


I think this list is solid with a few childhood favorites in which i would put in, including one that are in my personal top 5 favorite movies. A few of movies that I personally love are Home Alone (1990), Ninja Turtles (1990), The Mighty Ducks (1992) Aladdin (1992), and two movies that are in my personal overall top 5 favorite movies (very bold), which are Hook (1991)


I would agree that 1992 is the most overrated, based on the fact that there are so many movies that I never even heard of.

ETC: totally forgot about and overlooked hook. that is a great movie. its tough with movies that are perceived to be kids movies. home alone is probably the best example and hook should be in the discussion also of movies that resonate, everyone has seen them and theyre still as good now as when they were when you first saw them.
*G-Chat Convo:

i love aladdin the most above turtles and ducks and i guess if beauty and the beast is on their list aladdin should get some consideration as well. but aladdin just goes with the 3 that i listed that were left off the list that all 4 seem to be more deserving than the ones on the list. i think if for our list 1992 begins with a few good men, a league of their own, reservoir dogs, aladdin and then you can make an argument for unforgiven and malcolm x.

Mr. IMDB, LTC: 1993: You cant really argue that these three shouldnt be on the list, all three are classic movies in such different ways. Dazed and confused is a great movie with one of the greatest cameo appearnances by Matthew McConaughey. "That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age." Grounhog day is classic Bill Murray, enough said. Schindler's list, arguably the most powerful movie ever made.


Movies that I think could be argued to be in there; Jurassic Park, The Fugitive, The Pelican Brief


Personal favorites: Mrs Doubtfire, Cool Runnings, Rookie of the Year, and my number 1 overal favorite movie The Sandlot

ETC: Im with you on the movies that are listed. Dazed and Confused is such a generational movie in that it perfectly defined an era. granted it was a look back, but it really captured an entire way of life. And I couldn't agree more about McConaughey, could easily be one of the best cameos. That quote is amazing.

Groundhog Day is Bill Murray at his finest and really shows that he can do more than just be funny, that he is an excellent actor period.

You can't dispute Schindler's List. the only possible thing against that is the rewatchability is not there, but I think that is a testament to how powerful the movie is.

Jurassic Park has to be on this list, no questions asked. It's a great suspense movie and it's one of the most memorable movies not only of this particular year but possibly of all time. Couldn't agree more about the sandlot. we all know how we feel about that movie

Some huge noticable missing ones in addition to those you had are.......

a bronx tale, cool runnings, grumpy old men, rudy, the firm, the fugitive.

I think Rudy has to be on the list. It's one of the only movies that has the potential to make grown men cry

Mr. IMDB, LTC: 1994:



There are a lot of movies from this year, but I have only seen three, and all three are no brainers on the list. Forrest Gump, Shawshank, and Pulp Fiction. All phenomenal movies with incredible performances. Easily Hanks’ best movie, Robbins and Freeman in a perfectly told story, and Tarantino at his best.


I am blindly going to award Jim Carrey with the most snubs in a year award in 1993. Two of which are classics, 1 is just a movie I like.


I would argue before seeing the rest of the years that 1994 is at the top of the snubs list, on both a personal level and great movie level. Here is the list: The Lion King, Dumb & Dumber, Clear and Present Danger, Ace Ventura, Angels in the Outfield, D2 The Mighty Ducks, Major League 2, The Mask.


*G-Chat Convo: dude, 94 and 95 have an all-star cast of snubs. i thought 94 was bad, and i just looked at 95 and it might take the cake *
 
ETC: Agreed with your assessment of the movies listed. Gump, Shawshank and Pulp Fiction should be on the list. Gump is in my personal top 3 of all time, I mean its got everything you can ask for in a movie. It's funny, its sad, its got war scenes/action and its Tom Hanks at the top of his game. Shawshank gives me chills everytime i watch it. "hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things". And while I personally like Reservoir Dogs better then Pulp Fiction as a whole (story, development etc) Pulp is the more "fun" movie to watch. It's style has been copied so much since then its amazing. But the other 3 movies they have listed are tragedies when you look at some of the snubs.

Jim Carrey's career was essentially made in this year, which is incredible. The fact that Ace Ventura, The Mask and Dumb and Dumber all came out in the same year is shocking. 1 of those movies has to be on any list, and I'd argue that all 3 belong on the list for that matter. That has to be the best year a comedian has ever had in terms of movies. I can't imagine a better year than that? Can you think of any better year for a comedian?

Definitely agree about Lion King, I think it's my favorite disney movie and deserves some recognition. Clear and Present Danger, D2 and Major League 2 deserve to be talked about, especially CPD, but I think in comparison to the 3 that are originally listed and the Jim Carrey snubs, I dont think those should make the list

*G-Chat Convo: its crazy how many are left off, not to mention the ones they listed for the most part should be on there though. Jim Carrey's career was made that year, its incredible and none of them are on the list*

Mr. IMDB, LTC: 1995:



I need to retract my previous statement about 1994 being the top of the snub list, because we now have a new heir to the throne. I have seen 4 movies in here, but know about most of them. Toy Story, if I am not mistaken, is Pixar’s first bigtime movie in a line of great animated movies, with the classic quote “To infinity, AND BEYOND”. I am a big fan of Heat, a great modern crime movie with a loaded cast in Pacino, DeNiro, Val Kilmer, Jon Voight, Ashley Judd, Dennis Haybert, Natalie Portman. Wouldn’t be mad if it wasn’t on the list, but I like it. The Usual Suspects, in my top 5, no brainer on this list. Arguably one of the greatest “No fucking way” moments that leave you speechless in movie history, up there with the ending of Primal Fear. Kevin Spacey is incredible. I am going to keep Clueless on the list. Could go either way, started the careers of Alicia Silverstone and the late Brittany Murphy. Award for 30 year old playing a smoking high school girl goes to Stacey Dash, who may look hotter now at 44 than ever.


I am going to argue this is the most snubbed year based on the movies that made the list versus what didn’t make the list.


Great Movies: Apollo 13, Crimson Tide, Braveheart, Outbreak, Casino, Tommy Boy. The fact that none of these movies made it over Babe boggles my mind. Come on, Babe? Really Seth? Babe? REALLY?


Personal Favorites: Ace Ventura 2, GoldenEye, Seven, Bad Boys, Batman Forever
 
ETC: Fantastic analysis, It's almost exactly how i feel. Toy Story deserves to be on the list, really launched the Pixar revolution and look at how many great movies they've made since then. I love heat, but it is very long and there are some very slow parts, so I'm gonna leave it on the list just because of a few key scenes that make the movie. Usual Suspects is absolutely a no brainer. I think it's the greatest ending of any movie in the history of movies, better than Primal Fear (but that's very close). And whats amazing about Usual Suspects is that even when you rewatch the movie, and you know the ending, you're still fascinated and pick up on so many details that you missed the first time. Sometimes with ploy movies like that, you can't rewatch it because the "shock value" is lost, but that doesn't happen with suspects. Clueless definitely belongs as well no doubt about it. It's another generational movie, but this captured the 90s and it was made in the 90s. It will last and despite being one of the biggest chick flicks of all time, I love this movie and it's features Paul Rudd very early in his career as well.

This has been the most snubbed year so far, more so than the Carrey debacle of 94. Every movie you just listed as a snub are far and away superior movies than babe. In fact this could be argued as a reason that this list is terrible. Babe is on the list but all time classics like casino and braveheart are completely overlooked. And while we are picking on babe, we certainly cant leave Sense and Sensibility out of this argument. a hugh grant movie cant be said to a must see when we've got hanks, deniro, denzel and farley among others that were made this year. I dont think either of us have seen or heard of Living in Oblivion and before sunrise. And that doesnt mean they might not be good movies, but if both of us have never HEARD of them, they can't possibly be ranked about casino, braveheart or apollo 13 (and the rest of our snub lists)

Even your personal favorites, which would also be included on my personal favorites (or maybe guilty pleasure would be a better description) could be argued for, especially Seven. not to mention movies like billy madison, jumanji and die hard with a vengeance that are all enjoyable movies. Jumanji was innovative and unique and I'd much rather watch that than sense and sensibility.

*G-Chat Convo: haha excellent assesment, you almost took the words out of my mouth*
*Mr.IMDB, LTC: that whole year is a crime*


So that is our part 1 of our discussion. We broke it up by half decades, so Part 2 will range from 1996-1999. Mr. IMDB, Lenny the Critic and myself are having way too much fun with so we hope that you enjoy the debate as much as we do, and want to hear some feedback. So keep a heads up for Part 2 and until next time, as always....STAY SWEET!