DWTS Running Journal

So I got hooked on Dancing With The Stars, thanks to Nicole Scherzinger and Erin Andrews. Their 'tractor beams sucked me right in; just like Lloyd Christmas I was helpless. And now the 2 hour Finale is here and I won't lie to my audience...I'm fired up right now.

I think Nicole has this thing in the bag, but honestly I'd be fine with Nicole or Erin. So I'm breaking out the running journal...that's right I'm blogging in real time to Dancing With The Stars....like Ke$ha said "maybe I need some rehab".

AND HERE WE GO....

9:01: Tom Bergeron just greeted us. I could go without Tom but I can't knock the guy, who would have guessed Celebrity Squares would have led him to the #1 show on television. If that's not the American Dream I don't know what is.

9:02 : The early season castoffs are back for an opening number. I'd like to have some stern words with the panel who chooses some of these "stars". In what world is Kate Gosselin a star. Its not called "Dancing with D-List Reality Show Hosts". Gosselin literally just made me induce vomit.

9:04: First shot of Bruno.....it was MAGNIFICENT!

9:06: A nice little profile of Nicole Scherzinger...it really wasn't fair that she was invited on the show being that she's a professional singer/dancer, but good God am I glad they asked her on. I wouldn't have started watching if they hadn't. By the way...her and her partner are definitely banging, no questions about it. Derick must be thinking "all those years of being harassed as a teenager has really paid off".

9:10: First dance from Nicole. Len Goodman, the tough judge loved it. UNREAL reaction from Bruno. He's doing his trademark half stand and yell..."the SEXUALITY was RIVETING!" according to Bruno. My new favorite impression to do is Bruno, how has there not been an SNL skit yet, this is a layup.

9:15: Evan Lycechek is up. He really creeps me out, he looks like a wax statue of himself. His Russian dancer has really grown on me, must be the accent.

9:26: Erin Andrews is up and she looks intense. She just seduced me. (They're definitely bangin too. On last night's episode when Erin was rolling around (see picture) on a bed, Bruno said they had a minor slip up on the bed, and Maks goes "Thats not the bed we practiced on". Good job by you Maks.)The dance was kind of bland, looked good, but not dazzling. Judges loved it though so shes still got a chance. Great reaction from Bruno.

9:30 : Just got a close up of the judges "deliberating". It looked so forced, like they were faking it. If you recall the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Elaine are renting a car and they see the agent talking to her supervisor behind a door. They're not saying anything they're just gesturing so it looks like they are really busy. This looks like the judges are trying to solve a Chinese Algebra equation.

9:32: Nicole takes the top spot after the first round of dances, followed by Evan and then Erin. I have a conspiracy theory that ABC is showcasing Erin Andrews (ABC owns ESPN, the company that Erin works for) after her awful situation with a stalker. If this is at all true, she will survive the first round of voting.

9:33 Just got a shot of Edyta, one of the professional dancers that got eliminated early. And....Smokeshow.

9:38: Question, was Kate Gosselin the worst contestant in the history of the show? I think so. This is the only season I've watched and I'm about 97% confident on that statement. Steven Hawking could dance better.

9:40: Edyta is dancing, if only we were fortunate to have her around for the entire season. I'm completely mesmerized. As you can see from her picture here.

9:41: HAHA most unreal entrance ever by Buzz Aldrin. They have the Star Wars theme playing for the space hero. I don't think he was on the show long enough to be banging his partner, but who knows, those astronauts move quickly. Good for Buzz, and guess what, he's a much better dancer than Gosselin.

9:52: A preview for Sex and the City 2 just aired and it really bothers me. You mean to tell me that Sopranos can just end, but we have to deal with 2 miserable movies of Sex and the City. The one girl is like 60 years old. That's not a cougar, that's Garfield. Come on HBO, you're better than that.

9:55: WOAH, one dancer is about to get eliminated. This caught me way off guard, I didn't think the elimination was until the last hour of the show. I'm nervous, if Erin doesn't make it I'm gonna be pissed. Close up of Erin, she looks concerned. Close up of wax doll, no emotions. Close up of Nicole, man she's hot.......NOOOOO Erin is gone.

9:56: Erin is starting to get choked up, great speech from her. "I came here with crummy circumstances in my life, and you've helped me get my smile back". Maks is choked up also. They are 100% dating. Full tears from Erin while watching the recap of their dancing experience. They get an extra long last dance. I obviously knew she was quite attractive prior to this, but man she is a serious catch. She's got a rare combination of looks, personality and passion for sports. In the words of Champ Kind...."I like the way you're put together....WHAMMY"

10:04: Just got a commercial for "Wipeout", quite possibly the greatest guilty pleasure show on television. You get to watch people get crushed and fall into pools of water while trying to finish obstacle courses.

10:06: There doing some college challenge, and I could care less. Although they are dancing to a Pussycat Doll song. This is very interesting. Foreshadowing anyone? I wonder what Nicole is thinking right now? This has got to be a good Omen. (Side note, I just got off the phone with Dicky and told him Nicole is a pure lock. I really hope I didnt just jinx it for her and have the trophy go to Wax Doll).

10:10: A little celebrity opinion piece. Larry King and Mario Lopez just made cameos haha what a pairing that would be. Let's get Larry on the show, hell we had Buzz on this year, no reason not to see Larry in some suspenders burning up the dancefloor. Final line of that little piece goes to Regis, but I can only think of Dana Carvey doing his Regis impression when I actually hear the real Regis.

10:17: I legitimately just cringed and had to look away from the screen. Kate Gosselin just gave a shameless plug for her 2 new shows. This bothers me so badly, I'm so mad I could spit. I'm sitting in my room and contemplating spitting on my own floors I hate her so much. Horrible job by DWTS here. And now she's dancing to a Lady Gaga song and somewhere Lady Gaga is thinking "this girl has problems".

10:22: Back to business...Nicole is back. I feel like the Seinfeld episode when Newman eats a broccoli and needs to chase it with a shot of honey mustard to cleanse his pallet. Nicole just cleansed my eyes (I would have never thought being compared to honey mustard would be a compliment but thats what Kate Gosselin can do for you)

10:26: Just got taken into Nicole's dressing room. Never thought I'd get to experience that in my life.

10:29: Nice little cameo from Pam Anderson. Like Mike Tyson in the Hangover...."shes still got it".

10:31: Neicy Nash just said "jiggly parts" for the 1,217th time this season.

10:36: We've got smoke machines and flashing lights. It's go time.

10:38: A nice little retrospect piece with Nicole. This piece confirmed they are banging, again good job by Derrick, can't knock the hustle.

10:39: Nicole's last dance. Love it already and I've only seen her for 2 seconds.

10:40: LOCK IT UP. this contest is over.

10:41: The judges are blowing up Nicole. They loved it, the crowd loved. 10's across the board. LOCK IT UP.

10:47: Time for Wax Doll's retrospect piece. His partner Anna, definitely grew on me, she's not on the Edyta/Nicole/Erin level, but shes pretty nice. Wow, looks like these two are banging also, good for Evan.

10:49: I'll give it to Evan, it was a good dance, but he's got no chance. It wasn't even close to Nicole's level. Bruno gave him the thumbs up, but it sure sounded like a consolation prize speech. Same with Len and Carrie Anne Inaba.

10:51: Carrie-Anne Inaba gave Evan a 10, uh oh. Len gives a 9 and so does Bruno. And now were going to get 8 minutes of commercials and cliffhanger moments until they finally reveal the winner. Real quick, how many cliffhanger moments will they cram into the next 9 minutes? My guess is two "And the winner of this season's Dancing with the Stars is.......going to be announced after the break". Bite me textbook ratings ploy.

10:56: HOLY CANOLI...no cliffhangers, we're going right in...A buildup speech by Bergeron and Brooke Burke. And the winnner is................wow really long pause...........NICOLE!!!! Well that made this whole experience worthwhile. Nice 2nd place speech from Wax Doll and now the moment you've all been waiting for.

10:58: Trophy presentation for Nicole and Derrick. Shockingly, there were no tears from Nicole. She had to have expected to win, so she really can't be too shocked. The ceremony was kind of short, I was expecting more, maybe a last dance and a little speech. But I'm nitpicking.

I knew Nicole would win but I'm still satisfied. I have to say overall, this was a good television watching experience for me. I haven't had a lot of shows to follow recently and DWTS gave me what I was looking for. I do think most of my enjoyment came from watching Nicole and Erin, and it really helped that they made it through to the very end. It will be very interesting to see what stars are picked for the next season. I'm saying that my status to watch the next season hinges on what stars are picked, but Pasquale doesn't believe that for a second. He thinks I'm hooked regardless. For your viewing pleasure I've added another picture Nicole just for fun. Nothing wrong with that.


Dancing With The Stars returns September 20th, will I be back to watch? We shall see.....

Anniversary Week Continues

Anniversary week rolls on here at ETC ETC ETC and what a special edition this is. Before we get into the action, make sure you check out the Nic Cage Tribute Video from the last post in case you missed it.


Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls I promised you a special week and we have something really special. Way back when the blog first started, we were blessed with a Gripe from Dicky and it was stellar. The readers demanded more and Dicky was the hottest writer in the blog-o-sphere and then like Keyser Soze, we never heard from him again. Well the anger has boiled over and now he's back and he's taking aim at the social media. It started with a simple email comment in which Dicky said "there's no way people are this happy in real life". So without further adieu.......Heeeeeeere's Dicky


Dicky's Gripe


I have just recently become familiar with the phenomenon known as Facebook...yes i realize that makes me seem either very old since it seems like everyone and their mother has been on facebook for years, or completely out of the loop, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it until recently when I was forced to for business purposes. Now I know what you are asking yourselves: "Dicky, what is wrong with you, how have you lived without Facebook for all of these years." Quite well actually.


There is something to be said for having some sort of privacy in your life. Don't get me wrong, there are some redeeming qualities of social media. It certainly makes it easier to keep in contact with old friends from college etc. etc. etc. (see what I did there). Plus, who doesn't enjoy "creeping" (to borrow a term from a friend) around facebook pictures every now and then. However, it has recently come to my attention that either there are some of the hap hap happiest bunch of assholes in the world on Facebook, or you're all a bunch of liars. The amount of exclamation points and smiley faces being used on facebook is slightly disturbing. "Just had the greatest breakfast ever with my favorite people in the world!!! :)".........really? It's just breakfast, get over it. In an hour you will probably be sitting on the toilet because of that breakfast and if I see someone post "Just had the greatest shit ever in my favorite stall!!!" I'm just going to snap.


I refuse to believe that everyone is really that thrilled with the way their day is going, and if you are I would kindly request the name and number of your drug dealer. Maybe its filling some sort of void in your actual life, and you feel you have to come across as the happiest person in the world on facebook. Maybe you are trying to make everyone else jealous of that amazing breakfast that you had for whatever reason. I can't put my finger on the reasons behind why people feel the need to just gloat about their day, but let's tone it down a little bit shall we. I know I may be a little more cynical than most (its genetics) but I don't think I'm the only person that feels this way. I know for a fact there are several contributors to this blog that have in fact rid themselves of facebook because they couldn't handle it anymore. I won't go that far because like I said, it can have some redeeming qualities but I propose this advice: lets try to keep it real people


Great to have you back Dicky.


For those who have followed the blog I'm sure your remember The Pauper (if you don't check the archives. and shame on you). His cross country trip of enlightenment has put him on the road to becoming a doctor. After 1 full year of Med School he doesn't seem any more doctor-y to me, aside from the expert opinions he provides and the white lab coat he's been sporting lately. But he's got one last summer of relaxation and has agreed to a new role here at ETC ETC ETC. Every Thursday the Pauper will review whatever we want him to review....a movie, tv show, sporting event, news story, fine wines, rare cheeses, new flavors of gum....whatever we want. So we will open up the phone lines for requests and anything can be submitted via comments on the blog, email or facebook (see what I did there Dicky). For his first piece, I asked the Pauper to see and review the movie Robin Hood, the number 1 most anticipated movie of the summer. So here's the Pauper in his new segment that I'm calling........

Ask A Doctor

“Thank god all the bad guys wear dark eyeliner or else I wouldn’t be able to tell they were bad guys…” commented one of the females with whom I saw the movie (Don’t read into that statement) Robin Hood invoking a timeless observation of good and evil.

This is a useful trick (less a disappearing card and more a James Pancotti Halloween tactic – crude and effective) that lots of filmmakers use to emphasize dichotomies in a story – one that anyone who didn’t lick a frog or snort cat’s pee when they watched Joaquin Phoenix in Gladiator knows. Nevertheless, this brings us to an important point: You didn’t care or even notice in Gladiator because the story was utterly engrossing, linear and reasonable. In Robin Hood a viewer picked up on these subtle things because the story didn’t keep you interested – Malarkey from Band of Brothers making wise-ass jokes, the pissed-off commando from Lost scouring the English “jungle” for large women and Cate Blanchett telling Crowe that she sleeps with a knife and she’ll cut off his genitals. Somewhere among all of this Robin Hood breaks apart when you attempt to work out in your mind what precisely you are watching.

So how does this occur and why? Imagine you’re ready an extra ½ hour to an hour early one morning for work or school. You snag your cup of Joe and you say to yourself - “Yes, this is my f@#$ing day”. You hop into your tunafish can-colored ‘96 Chevy Impala and decide to take the long scenic route to get to your destination because you can. It will be fun you say and you may learn something new about a back road that can save you time in the future. You can imagine where this is going – You get lost, blow the suspension, spill the joe on the Dockers and waddle into work only to hear “Goddamn it Johnson, this isn’t a Creed concert – please, on time and without piss stains on your pants” We are in the backseat of Ridley Scott’s Impala. I don’t want to discourage this among the fledgling filmmakers out there – sometimes that road goes somewhere and you learn something new about the trip or yourself. In this case, it didn’t. The journey was quite novel and picturesque through the window (if those goddamn back windows went all the way down it would have been very scenic), but he lost touch with the realistic “historically accurate” story of Robin Hood that he proffered. His story sits in a no-mans land between the epically imaginary and the historically accurate (see Crowe putting an arrow through the carotid artery of the villain at 500 yards out).

Moreover, the people in the entertainment industry and those being entertained have this growing need for our entertainment to be “historically accurate” as if a make-uped Russell Crowe is not enough to dismount that claim. I have no problem with this trend in general. A demand for factual foundation could do all of us and ESPN a little good. The problem exists in using it as a ruse, which I hate to say Ridley Scott does here. There is a scene where Robin Hood demands of the King of England “liberty by law” and prepares a document to that end. Historically, we know this coerced document to be the Magna Carta of the year 1215, an early harbinger of republican government and a heftily cited “ground zero” for liberty in Western Europe. Thus the following thought albeit lengthily worded (I apologize in advance) ensued in my head:

Am I being asked to believe that Robin Hood - a man who by virtue of not being a clergyman was likely illiterate - was

1) the brains behind arguably the most important document in Western European history espousing republican principles and

2) a well-nautilused, brawny, sinewy “William Wallace” who led armies and charged beachheads giving the King of England advice on tactics?

Ridley Scott may beg to differ and forcefully reply back “Are you not entertained!!” I could only reply: So Mr. Scott, what is Michael Bay drinking these days? Still demolishing those bay breezes like they were on-set buses?

Don’t get me wrong. I like Ridley Scott. I enjoyed Kingdom of Heaven, White Squall and Blade Runner among others. I loved Gladiator. He has ability, he has creativity and he has style. Nevertheless, we see Crowe and Ridley Scott together here as a victim of their own success. Robin Hood was always a dude singing forest hymns and wearing a green leotard until Costner and Crowe donned leather hoods and cloaks. His story, like King Arthur’s, is a constellation of myth and fact set in a watershed moment in English History. After this movie we remain in a similar limbo about Robin Hood. Some will enjoy the mottling of action sequences threaded together throughout the movie but the fact remains that Robin Hood does not give them a reasonable context. Even though the beautiful scenery of this movie illuminates a 12^th century world we have yet to see on screen as fully and as masterfully as Scott imagines it here, Robin Hood nevertheless falls short by attempting to crystallize a legend in a neat and tidy way with all the historical corners tucked in, a legend that probably is not meant to be crystallized.

So this kicks off a summer series of reviews. Each week, probably every Thursday I will write a review for the blog. As you know this blog prides itself in being accessible and interactive, we will be accepting any and all suggestions. I am willing to review any sporting event, TV show episode/series, movies including and especially movies like Plan 9 from Outer Space (Seinfeld fans will know this as “the one that works”).

(Sidenote: I actually saw that movie recently as well as the Tim Burton biopic about its odd cross-dressing director, Ed Wood - Johnny Depp stars. Its like pretending to drop acid on Wednesday afternoon)

All ideas are welcome including reviews of mid-80’s McEnroe v. Connors Wimbledon matches.

Please forward all requests to the godfather himself, Mr. Ryan Cazalet.

Please forward all hate mail his way as well and he can give me an itemized list of my wrong doings with the phrase “Good morning Mr. Phelps” at the top.

So if you liked this review or hated it and know I can do better, I invite you to join me every Thursday night this summer with a fresh Marlboro 100 (maybe Snus and a beer these days) or a glass of milk and cookies, on your iphone or on your computer, at the bar or in bed and we will share in the simple delights of civilization. Every writer (I use this term very loosely with myself) likes to imagine his readers with both a pleasant summer breeze and a slight smurk on their face under a deep purple orange twilight. So meet me there if you dare, I’ll have the box of wine.

Thanks Pauper for that insightful critique. I have now adjusted my Summer Movie Preview, and officially declare Inception to be my new number 1 most anticipated.

I asked the Pauper to use the Nic Cage Movie Review System for Robin Hood ....

Me: So let me ask you for your official review of Robin Hood on the Nic Cage Movie Review System, 1-4 Cages, 1 being Bad Lieutenant and 4 being Stan Goodspeed in the Rock

Pauper: 2 cages and a "Caster Troy" = 2.5

So here it is...2 Cages and a Castor Troy. The Request lines are open for anyone who wants to "Ask a Doctor" and have something reviewed. So until next time, as always....STAY CLASSY!

ETC Anniversary

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ETC ETC ETC! It's officially been 1 year since the blog has been up and going and I can't even begin to tell you how many lives we've touched. People like the Prime Minister of England, and my cousin Harry, you and me, the fat kid from "what's happening", the Olsen twins, Natalie Portman, the guy who wrote "Catcher in the Rye", Nat King Cole, Carrot Top, Jay-Z, Weird Al Yankovich, Harry Potter, if he existed, the whore on the street corner, your mother. We're all one.

Our goal was to get 50 followers in the first year and we fell just short. We came in 49 and that's not too shabby. So if you're reading this and you are not a follower, please sign up on the right hand side. It's simple and easy and the 50th person will get a fantastic gift courtesy of ETC (Have you ever heard of Williard?)

So we are rolling our the red carpet for some of our prestigious contributors that you have come to know and love. I have petitioned Obama to declare this ETC week but he hasn't gotten back to me yet, thanks healthcare reform. So that means all week we are going to have pieces from people like MP4 and the Pauper, Pasquale and Dicky, Yahtzee and Steamin' Willie Beamen. And how could we possibly have an anniversary week without some good old fashioned Nic Cage fun.

So tonight I am going to give you two very special pieces, an anniversary double dip of the Fab 5 from Pasquale and an ETC ETC ETC original video paying homage to the man, the myth, the legend...Nic Cage.

So here's Pasquale....

Fab 5 


since its the one year blog anniversary, i'll give you 5 to hate and 5 to love, that's 10 for the price of 5, usually you pay double for that kind of action

5 Things to Love

24/7 - If you're not familiar with 24/7 be sure to make a point to watch it the next time its on. 24/7 chronicles the 4 weeks leading up to a big boxing match. The theme song get me fired up and the narrator can make just about anything seem interesting. In some cases the 24/7 is actually more entertaining than the fight. I think all 24/7 fans are keeping their fingers crossed for mayweather/pacquiao. If you don't watch 24/7 or haven't watched it before, do yourself a favor and watch the next one.

Arthur Ave - Arthur ave is the little italy of the bronx. A few members of the etc, etc, etc staff were on arthur ave this past weekend and enjoyed an absolute feast. If you live in the new york area and have never been, make a point to head there and grab a meal, make sure that meal includes appetizers, full dinner, and desert at one of the many pastry shops in the neighborhood.

The Transitive Property - You can use the transitive property to prove almost anything. Here is one of my favorite examples of the transitive property at work. I hate Harry Connick Jr. Michael Buble sounds like Harry Connick Jr, so by the transitive property of hatred, I hate Harry Connick Jr.

South Park - For the last 13 years South Park has been the most relevant, up to date show on television. South Park might look like a low budget, poorly drawn cartoon show, but there are always underlying themes and lessons in the adventures of the kids from South Park. If you were in a coma for the last 13 years and wanted to get caught up on what had happened in the world while getting a laugh, South Park would be your best bet, and don't tell me its just a profane cartoon. If you think its just a profane cartoon, you're not watching.

Winning Time - This 30 in 30 documentary brought back the horror show that was reggie miller versus the new york knicks. While watching Reggie torch the knicks was difficult, it made me realize how good those games used to be. The NBA has gone soft now, most super stars are more concerned with their personal brand and image than winning. The mid 90's Knicks had the no lay up rule, which is among the greatest rules in professional sports, unfortunately you don't see much of this rule anymore.

5 things to hate

Long Sleeve Dress Shirts - These shirts absolutely kill me. It has nothing to do with getting dressed up. The elbows always rip. No matter what. It pisses me off. If someone can invent a reasonably priced long sleeved dress shirt with elbows that don't rip, they'll be a millionaire.

Fans who run on the field - Recently in Philadelphia, fans have been running on the field during the game. One moron who ran on the field was hit with a taser and there was some public backlash over the usage of said taser. are you kidding m?, if you're dumb enough to run on the field you should have to deal with the consequences whether that be a cop beating you down, a player tackling you, or being tased with serious amounts of voltage.

Religion - Religion really bugs the shit out of me. I was raised a catholic, so I'm particularly up to date on how ridiculous the catholic church is, but I'm an equal opportunity hater when it comes to religion. Each religion is completely full of shit in its own way. If you dislike religion, watch religulous, which is a film by bill maher where travels the world speaking with members of various religions and basically shitting on each of them. I don't mind if you are religious, i'm kind of envious of people who have strong beliefs like that, just don't talk to me about religion. There is nothing more obnoxious than someone who is outspoken about their religion and loves to point out to people how what they do is right and what you do is wrong. just keep it to yourself.

PSL's -  I don't even need to explain this one. PSL's just blow. *EDITORS NOTE: PSL stands for Personal Seat License. A scam sport teams are using to milk thousands of dollars from their fans*

Internet Acronyms - Just don't use them. If you used them when you were in middle school, i might be able to give you a pass. But if you use them now, don't. just don't. 



That's why we love Pasquale. To those who don't listen to sports talk radio you might not think this is a compliment, but quite frankly its the highest praise you can give.....Thats a Good Job by you.


A Nic Cage Tribute 


So for quite some time now ETC has featured the Trademarked Nic Cage Movie Review System. People have come to know and love it but may not understand where it originated from. Yes we all love Nic Cage, that goes without speaking. But a casual conversation with a friend of the blog resulted in the following conversation. Most readers know who said it, but they will remain nameless...


"I was drinking some white zinfandel and watching a Nic Cage marathon" 


Nothing wrong with that my friend. And from that innocent conversation a drink came to fruition...the Cage Bomb (a shot of white zinfandel dropped into a glass of beer. shockingly not as bad as it sounds) 


We know Nic Cage, we love Nic Cage. He's experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of the lows. And so its only fitting that after being the most prominent figure thus far in the history of ETC, that I should show my appreciation by putting together a tribute video. So here is an ETC ETC ETC world premiere video I made....Nic Cage Tribute  

2nd Annual Summer Movie Preview

Seeing as Iron Man 2 hits theaters tomorrow I decided I am taking a break from the Ultimate Showdown debate with Mr. IMDB, Lenny the Critic in order to bring you the 2nd Annual summer blockbuster preview. So if you are new-ish to the blog this is the edition in which I analyze 10 movies that are being released this summer and what my expectations are for them. Last year I predicted that Harry Potter would be the top earning movie, just nudging out Transformers. Well I was very close but Transformers took the top earning spot of the summer (Transformers and Potter were number 2 and 3 for the entire year behind only Avatar, which opened in December and not on my summer list).

My format is slightly different this year. Some people were confused by the incorporation of the Nic Cage Movie Review System. They thought I had already seen the movie and given it a rating. So instead I will rank them from 10 to 1, least excited to most excited to see. Without further adieu, the 10 summer movies I'm most excited to see....(Sex and the City 2 will NOT be mentioned)

As usual, you can click on the title of the movie to see it's trailer.

10. Cyrus (July 9)- This one stars John C. Reilly and Jonah Hill and has been under the radar so far. Reilly is a down on his luck guy who finally meets a girl thats into him (Marissa Tomei). It turns out she has an awkward 20 something son that still lives with her. It's not a pure slapstick movie that we've come to expect from these two, but it definitely looks funny and could be a surprise hit.

9. Knight and Day (June 25)- This is either going to be a big hit or a huge disappointment. It's got Cruise and Cameron Diaz and it almost has a Mr. & Mrs. Smith feel to it. Cruise is a mysterious secret agent who goes on the run with Diaz and it looks like there are a bunch of plot twists and character developments. It looks like it's an action comedy, which is dangerous ground as it could be a good balance or way too cheesy. I'm banking that Cruise comes through in a role that is right up his alley. He's usually reliable with action movies.

8. Shrek Forever After (May 21) - Shrek is back. The last installment was not as good as the first two, so Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy are back to try and end the saga on a high note. The first Shrek was very funny and based on the preview, the final chapter looks like it will be just as good. It's basically a bizarro world in which every character is the complete opposite, including a fat and lazy puss N' boots. This has a chance to be the highest grossest movie of the summer due to its appeal to both kids and grown ups. Not sure where I fall on the kids/grown ups scale, but I'd like to see this.

7. Get Him To The Greek (June 4) - Aldice Snow is back. For those who don't recognize the name, Aldice Snow is the British rocker in Forgetting Sarah Marshall played by Russell Brand. Also returning in the spin-off is Jonah Hill, who played the creepy hotel worker who wants to be a musician. In this new version, Hill is an assistant for a music label and he must convince Aldice to perform at a concert. I would expect the same over the top humor from Marshall but I don't expect this to be as good as its original.

6. The Sorcerer's Apprentice (July 16th) - This is my sleeper pick of the summer, and not just because it's been years since my boy Cage has made a good movie. If you follow the blog then you know we've heard rumors about this movie last year when Paulie Walnuts snapped a pic of Nic Cage in costume, woofing down a slice of pizza in NYC. To be honest I thought this movie was either a dream or someone's idea of sick prank being pulled on me. Well I was wrong...its finally here. Jerry Brockheimer is producing so its going to have huge special effects and crazy CGI stunts not to mention people love the whole wizard/magician thing lately so I think its going to be surprise hit. God knows Cage needs the money now more than ever.

5. Toy Story 3 (June 18) - It was Pixar's first movie and it was a classic. Now Tom Hanks and Tim Allen are back as Woody and Buzz Lightyear as they deal with Andy going off to college. Pixar doesn't make bad movies (see Toy Story 1, Finding Nemo, Up) and it looks like they've got another hit with the last installment of the series that made them famous. My issue with this is that it's more of a kids movie than Shrek, and I am not going to see 2 "kids/cartoon" movies in one summer. Having said that, kids are going to eat this movie up.

4. Grown Ups (June 25) - Adam Sandler, Chris Rock and Kevin James star along with David Spade and Rob Schneider (who are both only funny when they're in movies with the guys mentioned) as childhood friends who get together for the first time in almost 30 years. Its the old SNL in the early 90's group back together so I have to imagine its going to be funny. And its hard to not to think that Kevin James' role would have been played by Chris Farley if he was still alive, but I find James to be very funny and think he will do just fine with Sandler and Chris Rock.

3. Inception (July 16) - I'm very fired up for this movie, but some people might disagree. It's kind of trippy and the previews don't even really explain what the movie is about but its got Leo in the lead role and its directed by Christopher Nolan who gave us The Dark Knight. It looks like The Matrix with it's slow motion action and it seems like it takes place inside people's memories. It's going to be action packed, thrilling and intense and I've got really high expectations for this one. It's my wildcard for highest grossing movie due to Leo as the star and this being Nolan's first movie since The Dark Knight. This might just be an opening night attendance movie for me.

2. Iron Man 2 (May 7) - I originally had this as my number 1 most anticipated movie, but then I watched some trailers and decided to put this at 2. Its probably more like 1b and the top  movie is 1a but this is a top 10 list not a cop-out list. However, I think this is going to be the highest grossing movie of the summer (the trailer has over 30 million views already). It's got a built in audience already and is easily the most anticipated movie of the summer. To add on to that, we now have Scarlett Johansson in a tight leather suit and the addition of Mickey Rouke as the villain is pure genius. I was unsure about the original and didn't see it in theaters. That was a mistake I will not make with the sequal because I thoroughly enjoyed the first installment. Robert Downey Jr has emerged as the most dynamic actor of the past 5 years and is perfectly cast as Tony Stark. In my younger years, I might go see this at midnight tonight but I don't have the stamina for that. I will see this one hopefully this upcoming weekend, but I will most certainly have a Nic Cage Movie Review within the week. This is pretty much the definition of a summer blockbuster. I think its a lock for the top earning movie of the summer, the only question is...can it catch The Dark Knight for biggest weekend opening of all time?

1. Robin Hood (May 14) - We all know the Robin Hood story but Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott are out to prove that Robin Hood was a bad-ass and not some "take from the rich, give to the poor" philanthropist. If this is half as good as Gladiator it will be amazing, and based on the trailer it looks like it will not disappoint. I can't expect it to be as good as Gladiator because that's just not fair, but this looks like it could be more action packed believe it or not. I don't think it will gross as much as Iron Man, but I am more excited to see this. I saw a teaser preview during the Super Bowl in January and I've been looking forward to its release since then. Russell Crowe is on the short list of actors that I think doesn't give bad performances and I would see pretty much anything that he makes. I did flip flop this a few times with Iron Man and Inception, but I decided to go with this as my number 1 most anticipated movie of the summer.

Honorable Mentions: Jonah Hex (Megan Fox is the only reason why I might consider seeing this. Although if I was an actor I guess I would sign on to do a shitty movie if it meant I would have a sex scene with her, good job by Josh Brolin) , The Other Guys (can Will Ferrell finally rebound and make a funny movie. Its got Eva Mendes and Mark Wahlberg so its possible.), Despicable Me (another cartoon, I can't possibly consider 3 in one summer so I won't be seeing this one) and Dinner For Schmucks (Paul Rudd and Steve Carrell, sounds like it can't miss but the preview isn't great).

Well that wraps up the 2nd Annual Summer Movie Preview. To recap, my sleeper hit is The Sorcerer's Apprentice (no that's not a joke), my wildcard for the top earning movie is Inception and my pick for the top earning Summer movie of 2010 is Iron Man 2. If any readers see these movies, feel free to leave a comment or an email about them and I will compare my thoughts with yours. So until next time, as always.....STAY SWEET!