DWTS Running Journal

So I got hooked on Dancing With The Stars, thanks to Nicole Scherzinger and Erin Andrews. Their 'tractor beams sucked me right in; just like Lloyd Christmas I was helpless. And now the 2 hour Finale is here and I won't lie to my audience...I'm fired up right now.

I think Nicole has this thing in the bag, but honestly I'd be fine with Nicole or Erin. So I'm breaking out the running journal...that's right I'm blogging in real time to Dancing With The Stars....like Ke$ha said "maybe I need some rehab".

AND HERE WE GO....

9:01: Tom Bergeron just greeted us. I could go without Tom but I can't knock the guy, who would have guessed Celebrity Squares would have led him to the #1 show on television. If that's not the American Dream I don't know what is.

9:02 : The early season castoffs are back for an opening number. I'd like to have some stern words with the panel who chooses some of these "stars". In what world is Kate Gosselin a star. Its not called "Dancing with D-List Reality Show Hosts". Gosselin literally just made me induce vomit.

9:04: First shot of Bruno.....it was MAGNIFICENT!

9:06: A nice little profile of Nicole Scherzinger...it really wasn't fair that she was invited on the show being that she's a professional singer/dancer, but good God am I glad they asked her on. I wouldn't have started watching if they hadn't. By the way...her and her partner are definitely banging, no questions about it. Derick must be thinking "all those years of being harassed as a teenager has really paid off".

9:10: First dance from Nicole. Len Goodman, the tough judge loved it. UNREAL reaction from Bruno. He's doing his trademark half stand and yell..."the SEXUALITY was RIVETING!" according to Bruno. My new favorite impression to do is Bruno, how has there not been an SNL skit yet, this is a layup.

9:15: Evan Lycechek is up. He really creeps me out, he looks like a wax statue of himself. His Russian dancer has really grown on me, must be the accent.

9:26: Erin Andrews is up and she looks intense. She just seduced me. (They're definitely bangin too. On last night's episode when Erin was rolling around (see picture) on a bed, Bruno said they had a minor slip up on the bed, and Maks goes "Thats not the bed we practiced on". Good job by you Maks.)The dance was kind of bland, looked good, but not dazzling. Judges loved it though so shes still got a chance. Great reaction from Bruno.

9:30 : Just got a close up of the judges "deliberating". It looked so forced, like they were faking it. If you recall the Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Elaine are renting a car and they see the agent talking to her supervisor behind a door. They're not saying anything they're just gesturing so it looks like they are really busy. This looks like the judges are trying to solve a Chinese Algebra equation.

9:32: Nicole takes the top spot after the first round of dances, followed by Evan and then Erin. I have a conspiracy theory that ABC is showcasing Erin Andrews (ABC owns ESPN, the company that Erin works for) after her awful situation with a stalker. If this is at all true, she will survive the first round of voting.

9:33 Just got a shot of Edyta, one of the professional dancers that got eliminated early. And....Smokeshow.

9:38: Question, was Kate Gosselin the worst contestant in the history of the show? I think so. This is the only season I've watched and I'm about 97% confident on that statement. Steven Hawking could dance better.

9:40: Edyta is dancing, if only we were fortunate to have her around for the entire season. I'm completely mesmerized. As you can see from her picture here.

9:41: HAHA most unreal entrance ever by Buzz Aldrin. They have the Star Wars theme playing for the space hero. I don't think he was on the show long enough to be banging his partner, but who knows, those astronauts move quickly. Good for Buzz, and guess what, he's a much better dancer than Gosselin.

9:52: A preview for Sex and the City 2 just aired and it really bothers me. You mean to tell me that Sopranos can just end, but we have to deal with 2 miserable movies of Sex and the City. The one girl is like 60 years old. That's not a cougar, that's Garfield. Come on HBO, you're better than that.

9:55: WOAH, one dancer is about to get eliminated. This caught me way off guard, I didn't think the elimination was until the last hour of the show. I'm nervous, if Erin doesn't make it I'm gonna be pissed. Close up of Erin, she looks concerned. Close up of wax doll, no emotions. Close up of Nicole, man she's hot.......NOOOOO Erin is gone.

9:56: Erin is starting to get choked up, great speech from her. "I came here with crummy circumstances in my life, and you've helped me get my smile back". Maks is choked up also. They are 100% dating. Full tears from Erin while watching the recap of their dancing experience. They get an extra long last dance. I obviously knew she was quite attractive prior to this, but man she is a serious catch. She's got a rare combination of looks, personality and passion for sports. In the words of Champ Kind...."I like the way you're put together....WHAMMY"

10:04: Just got a commercial for "Wipeout", quite possibly the greatest guilty pleasure show on television. You get to watch people get crushed and fall into pools of water while trying to finish obstacle courses.

10:06: There doing some college challenge, and I could care less. Although they are dancing to a Pussycat Doll song. This is very interesting. Foreshadowing anyone? I wonder what Nicole is thinking right now? This has got to be a good Omen. (Side note, I just got off the phone with Dicky and told him Nicole is a pure lock. I really hope I didnt just jinx it for her and have the trophy go to Wax Doll).

10:10: A little celebrity opinion piece. Larry King and Mario Lopez just made cameos haha what a pairing that would be. Let's get Larry on the show, hell we had Buzz on this year, no reason not to see Larry in some suspenders burning up the dancefloor. Final line of that little piece goes to Regis, but I can only think of Dana Carvey doing his Regis impression when I actually hear the real Regis.

10:17: I legitimately just cringed and had to look away from the screen. Kate Gosselin just gave a shameless plug for her 2 new shows. This bothers me so badly, I'm so mad I could spit. I'm sitting in my room and contemplating spitting on my own floors I hate her so much. Horrible job by DWTS here. And now she's dancing to a Lady Gaga song and somewhere Lady Gaga is thinking "this girl has problems".

10:22: Back to business...Nicole is back. I feel like the Seinfeld episode when Newman eats a broccoli and needs to chase it with a shot of honey mustard to cleanse his pallet. Nicole just cleansed my eyes (I would have never thought being compared to honey mustard would be a compliment but thats what Kate Gosselin can do for you)

10:26: Just got taken into Nicole's dressing room. Never thought I'd get to experience that in my life.

10:29: Nice little cameo from Pam Anderson. Like Mike Tyson in the Hangover...."shes still got it".

10:31: Neicy Nash just said "jiggly parts" for the 1,217th time this season.

10:36: We've got smoke machines and flashing lights. It's go time.

10:38: A nice little retrospect piece with Nicole. This piece confirmed they are banging, again good job by Derrick, can't knock the hustle.

10:39: Nicole's last dance. Love it already and I've only seen her for 2 seconds.

10:40: LOCK IT UP. this contest is over.

10:41: The judges are blowing up Nicole. They loved it, the crowd loved. 10's across the board. LOCK IT UP.

10:47: Time for Wax Doll's retrospect piece. His partner Anna, definitely grew on me, she's not on the Edyta/Nicole/Erin level, but shes pretty nice. Wow, looks like these two are banging also, good for Evan.

10:49: I'll give it to Evan, it was a good dance, but he's got no chance. It wasn't even close to Nicole's level. Bruno gave him the thumbs up, but it sure sounded like a consolation prize speech. Same with Len and Carrie Anne Inaba.

10:51: Carrie-Anne Inaba gave Evan a 10, uh oh. Len gives a 9 and so does Bruno. And now were going to get 8 minutes of commercials and cliffhanger moments until they finally reveal the winner. Real quick, how many cliffhanger moments will they cram into the next 9 minutes? My guess is two "And the winner of this season's Dancing with the Stars is.......going to be announced after the break". Bite me textbook ratings ploy.

10:56: HOLY CANOLI...no cliffhangers, we're going right in...A buildup speech by Bergeron and Brooke Burke. And the winnner is................wow really long pause...........NICOLE!!!! Well that made this whole experience worthwhile. Nice 2nd place speech from Wax Doll and now the moment you've all been waiting for.

10:58: Trophy presentation for Nicole and Derrick. Shockingly, there were no tears from Nicole. She had to have expected to win, so she really can't be too shocked. The ceremony was kind of short, I was expecting more, maybe a last dance and a little speech. But I'm nitpicking.

I knew Nicole would win but I'm still satisfied. I have to say overall, this was a good television watching experience for me. I haven't had a lot of shows to follow recently and DWTS gave me what I was looking for. I do think most of my enjoyment came from watching Nicole and Erin, and it really helped that they made it through to the very end. It will be very interesting to see what stars are picked for the next season. I'm saying that my status to watch the next season hinges on what stars are picked, but Pasquale doesn't believe that for a second. He thinks I'm hooked regardless. For your viewing pleasure I've added another picture Nicole just for fun. Nothing wrong with that.


Dancing With The Stars returns September 20th, will I be back to watch? We shall see.....