TM-why?

Ladies and gentleman I would like to take this time to rant. It's actually a continued rant from my previous post in which I complained about twitter. Our resident ranter has recently been in a happy place and like a pitcher tossing a perfect game, there's no need to jinx that. So the buck will be passed to me today.

My problem today is with TMZ. Sure it's just a microcosm of the bigger problem in America that includes reality tv, myspace and twitter but its a big one. Why must celebrities be forced to answer the dumbest questions ever asked of them at times when they just want to be left alone. Why do we care what they are doing? I imagine it must feel alot like an animal at the zoo. Sometimes the lion just wants to lay in the shade but has to deal with the obnoxious kid yelling at them to roar. And what makes it worse is that if a celebrity ignores the stupid questions, then when it airs on TV they spin it to make the celebrity look like a total jerk (they very well could be jerks in real life, but just because they want some privacy doesn't qualify them as jerks).

I would like to see what would happen if a celebrity followed around one of TMZ's reporters all day with cameras and asked them absurd questions? The celebrity would probably be arrested for harassment. But its totally acceptable for TMZ to do because they're papparazzi.

This also makes a case for a very interesting social experiment and could be used to settle a bet. Say the party who lost the bet was subject to 24 hour a day papparazzi treatment by the party who won the bet. Constant harrassment and ridiculous questions all day long and the losing party had to oblige. I know a few people who would cause havoc as the papparazzi. "Why didn't you recycle that bottle, do you not care about the planet?" "I saw you talking to Nancy in accounting, is it true you guys are having an inter-office affair?" Could be interesting.

It's a cheap source of entertainment and just like twitter is a cheap source of "journalism" it's completely ruining the "pure" forms like sitcoms and newspapers. So now we have tackled twitter and TMZ and coming soon...reality TV. It needs to be attacked. But for now lets get to the Pauper.

"The Pauper"
The Tale of the Pauper: A Cross Country Trip of Enlightenment
Chapter 8
Bayou Adventures
(Narration by Morgan Freeman)

June 27th, 2009 10:03 PM : Sleepin on the bayou tonight

California has been called the state of dreams. A place people go when they don't have anywhere else to go. This was and wasn't the case for the Pauper. He didn't go in search of fame and fortune. He went in search of something much more intangible. The feeling of life on the open road, the indescribable feeling of watching the sun set down behind the Pacific. And yet never in his wildest dreams would the Pauper have thought of sharing a glass of wine with Coppola or setting a new course record on the Malibu mini golf circuit. He made the most of his time in California and yet he could have stayed forever. The blue waves of the Pacific were everything he thought they would be. As the beauty of Malibu crossed over to the dryness of Death Valley, the Pauper realized it was time to leave. A few days of 100 + degree heat in the back of your car will make a man do crazy things. Especially when you have a beard that rivals ZZ Top's.

The Pauper made his peace with the Golden State and began to head back east. As he crossed over the southwestern parts of the U.S. he found it hard to comprehend just how flat the land was. It couldn't be more different than the hills of CT that he was so familiar with. Always the connousier of fine foods, the Pauper knew he had to hit New Orleans and sample the cajun cuisine. But not on Bourbon Street where commercial chain restaurants were everywhere. Instead he found a nice little joint just off the main road, with the bayou clearly in sight. He wanted to try it all, so he ordered an appetizer of crayfish and a bowl of gumbo soup. Savoring the rich flavors, he took his time and observed life on the bayou. It was very relaxed, as if there were no other places to go or people in the world. Completely satisfied with his bourbon chicken and seafood jambalaya the Pauper got into his condo on wheels and searched for a good place to rest his bones.

The bayou can be a relaxing place. But it can also be a terrifying place. I'm pretty sure there are species of animals that have yet to be discovered that live in those murky waters. Not to mention the gators and catfish that can swallow a human like it was a jello shot. But the Pauper had his trusty swiss army knife/imaginary best friend SAK by his side and knew he could handle anything that came his way. He found a perfect place to park the car, just off the road but close enough to the water so that he could hear the relaxing noises that nature provided. New Orleans was a little of the way on his trip back to the Constitution State, but the Pauper was glad he swung by. Before he parts ways with Louisiana, the Pauper knew he had to go to an old time jazz joint and hear the sweet musical melodies that have made the place famous. That's tomorrow, thought the Pauper, a man who lived for today.