State of The Blog

Members of the Blog Congress, I have the high privilege of introducing you to the inaugural State of the Blog Address....(thunderous applause)

Thank you, thank you everyone. Please. Be seated.

Madam Speaker, Members of Blog Congress. I am here today not only to address the distinguished men and women who read my blog, but also the distinguished surfers of the internet who have yet to stumble upon this pet project known as ETC ETC ETC. For many, the state of the internet is as chaotic and concerning as it has ever been. If you haven't personally been affected by the thousands of useless pages that pollute and corrupt creativity, you certainly know someone who has. The staples of information we once thought to be dependable and reliable are no longer providing us with the satisfaction that we deserve.We are surfing the internet in difficult and uncertain times, but I want you all to know this. This blog will rebuild, we will recover and ETC ETC ETC will emerge stonger then ever...(applause)

We started small. Rantings about nothing in particular, ravings about the daily grind. Soon we had gambling advice and semi-biographical, mostly fictional stories of cross country enlightenment. We previewed movies and ripped the people and trends that we hated. These small, ridiculous ideas evolved into The Nic Cage Movie Review System, Picks of the Unknown Gambler and the Fab 5, staples of the blog that serve as the metaphorical Executive, Legislative and Judicial Branches. We started small, but over the last 9 months this blog has grown. Most blogs have a singular purpose, a topic of expertise if you will, that they only talk about. But not ETC. We will continue to be random. (applause)

The recession has been tough on every feature of the blog, but the Nic Cage Movie Review System has come out stronger then ever. More movies will be reviewed, meaning more closeups of Nic Cage rocking a filthy, awe-inspiring mustache. The Fab 5 has reached a level of sucess that we never thought possible. People are frantically contacting the blog trying to determine the identity of the one and only Pasquale. The mystery will continue to grow, and the venom he spits will become more lethal. And in order to stay ahead of the curve, we will be unveiling a new segment. I fear that the classics of yester-year are being forgotten. That we are so enthralled with the Twilight's and Borat's of the modern movie world that we are forgetting or overlooking the classic movies from the 1980s, 90s and early 2000s. I am calling this segment "The Gary Oldman/Vinny Testaverde Forget Me Not Spotlight" , in which I will highlight a classic movie that we may have forgotten about or may not have been seen by this younger generation.

I campaigned with a promise of change, change the blogging world can believe in. Right now there are many blog readers who don't believe ETC can achieve overwhelming sucess. But remember this. I never suggested sucess would be easy. Or that I could do it alone. Distinguishing this blog in a world with millions of other blogs can be dificult, but my contributors and I will not tire. What keeps me blogging, despite all these setbacks is the spirit of optimism that exists in each post. Our enjoyment lives on in you, the readers. So as long as you keep reading we will keep writing. Even though we have 42 followers, a relatively small number compared to the millions of other blogs, we are resilent. I don't quit. My contributors don't quit. Let's seize this moment to carry the dream foward. I write random blogs for the American blogging people, because that's who I am and that's who I care about.

Thank you, and God bless the blog.