Win the Crowd, Win Your Freedom

At the end of my last post I said there would be an announcement that may change the face of the Winter Olympics for years to come. But before I do, please allow me to set the background.

MP4, our resident gambling expert, has always been a man of competition. Sure the money he wins is great, but it's the pride of winning that drives him. And so it wasn't until one fateful day that he found his calling, his shot at glory. While playing some drinking games to keep the competitive edge sharp, MP4 asked for another beer. Dicky pulled a frosty beverage from the fridge but didn't feel like walking it across the kitchen. Instead he took aim down the slick countertop and slid it toward MP4. His form was crisp, his eye was keen and the can slid with grace and precision across the counter. Avoiding several empty cans, it slid toward MP4 coming to rest perfectly in front of MP4's hand. He stood in amazement for a few seconds noticing the exceptional follow-through demonstrated by Dicky. In a Field of Dreams moment he realized what he had to do : He would form a curling team that would change the face of the sport for years.

So he did hours upon hours of research about the sport and the team that was to represent the United States of America at this year's Olympics. He was shocked and disappointed to learn how little they practiced, and with such cavalier enthusiasm for the sport. It turns out they practiced 3 days a week and played cards the rest of the days to stay sharp. So MP4 came up with a brilliant yet simple plan. We will practice 4 days a week and play cards only 3 days, giving us an immediate advantage.

We are also making a plea to HBO Sports. In a genius idea from Pasquale, he wants HBO to do a 24/7-esque feature on our team as we prepare for the Olympics. "Imagine us in the gym and on the ice working out, playing drinking games to stay sharp. The camera would love us", he said. It would be riveting television. We want to make a splash and so we won't be the lovable underdogs. Instead we want to be the new bad boys of curling. Perhaps "Double Down" Trent can explain it better than I can....

I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's *really* hoping makes it happen. I want to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey, a bad man.

We are also looking for a Coach. If anyone is interested or knows a good candidate please let us know.

Preferred Candidate : John Candy-Cool Runnings type, must have a love for curling and a deep knowledge of the game. Ideal candidate has been disgraced by the curling community and is looking to re-establish his/her credibility.

So here is our official declaration into the Curling world. We will not accept anything less then a spot in the Sochi Olympics. Now I give you our fearless leader and captain MP4......

To the fans and everybody in USA Curling Nation, I'm sorry, I'm extremely sorry. In Vancouver we were hoping for a Gold Medal. That was the goal, something USA Curling has never done. Time has come for a change, a new cast of characters, a change that will inspire a sport, a country, a world.


I promise you one thing, a lot of good will come out of this. You will never see any player in the entire world train as hard as I will for Sochi. You will never see someone push the rest of the team as hard as I will push everybody the next four years.

You will never see a team play harder that we will in Sochi. I present to you, the future..

VIVA LA REVOLUTION


In the mean time there is something else that demands our attention. One thing the blog has been missing has been a reliable weather report. It seems like every weatherman gives us a different report and it makes us wonder "who can we trust". Well look no further. ETC is proud to unveil ACCUBERG WEATHER. Here now is his first segment.....

Weekend Outlook: "Snow Hurricane"


This could be the storm of the winter but who knows because weatherman are always full of sh*t. One of the reasons why I want to get into the business. Hopefully being a part of ETC ETC ETC will be my start, that and doing morning weather on 95.9 The Fox my next calling. After researching this storm for the past two days we could be in for a doozy. Looks like it could dump up to a foot of snow on the New York City metropolotian area and one to two feet in higher elevations throughout northern New England. They are also calling for 50-70 MPH winds to hit the area which could produce snow drits up to three feet from the blowing winds. With these devistating winds it could make it seem like a hurricane with snow hence the name "snow hurricane" The storm is supposed to surface in our area mid-afternoon Thursday and continue through out Friday. With this said we could be in for downed power lines as well as falling trees through out the streets of the Northeast meaning people could be out of power for days depending on the response time of CL&P. While we have the calm before the storm through early Thursday, the wintry weather will hit us the hardest late Thursday into Friday.

Things to remember during these types of storms:

1. Always have fuel in your vehicle

2. Stock your house with Milk, Water and Snacks

3. Keep flashlights and candles handy at all times

4. If you have a generator be sure to test it out ahead of time

Be sure to keep checking back with Accuberg for the latest updates on this dangerous, damaging and disruptive storm.