Today ladies and gentleman marks the very first mailbag here at ETC. ETC. ETC. we have received some interesting questions and comments and I will offer up my thoughts on them. I had decided to call this the Suggestions Box but as you will see in one of the questions I am going to have to rethink this title. So I give you the working title Mailbag....
Hollywood (NJ)- I saw a couple engaging in a drunken makeout at the bar like their plane was going down. When is this behavior acceptable, if ever?
Great question Hollywood. In fact you stole one of my responses. That kind of behavior would be acceptable if you were on a plane and your pilot said you were in a nosedive for the rocky mountains. In which case any kind of behavior gets a free pass, including the crazy makeout. But here are a few of my possible scenarios to make this vial act acceptable.
1. If one of the people were going off to war- If your being shipped out in the morning, then by all means makeout like its 1941.
2.If one of the people dove in front of traffic to save a young child- if you witnessed said person perform said act, then by all means suck face like a hoover vacuum.
3. If one of the people is a chartered member of Oprah's Book Club- that speaks for itself.
Jason (N/A/)- I think your blog sucks. Who are these people you write about and why should I care?
Ladies and Gentleman I give you our first random reader/hater. All I can say to that is if you don't like it, don't read it. At least this shows the site is getting some readers. And....agree to disagree.
Aaron (D.C.)- Alright Stew Leonards, I've got a question for the suggestion box. (Suggestion box, really? You couldn't come up with anything better?)
Who dove farther?
A) Eric Byrnes making a catch in left field
B) Joba Chamberlain (vs. Cleveland Indians) - 5th Inning - June 1st
C) Anyone in this video...http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgPgOUisPeI
What a great video. I suggest you guys take the time to view it and understand how pathetic soccer dives truly are. Eric Byrnes will dive for a ball even if there's no chance he can catch it. He might have a nice career as a stuntman when he decides to hang up the cleats. I'd have to rule out the Joba play because it was actually a good play, and I don't want to acknowledge the yankees anymore than I have to. So I'd have to give this one to any of the soccer players, take your pick. Seriously, take your pick, because they are all so good. The comedic value of this clip is off the charts. Number 3 looks like he was picked off by a sniper, Number 13 is solid, 10 is absolutely ridiculous, 4 is hysterical, especially when the ref gives him a yellow card and he is miraculously healed. But I think number 2 is my favorite, he acts like Albert Haynesworth stomped on his head.
Mike (CT)- Who would you rather fight, Bruce Lee or Mike Tyson?
Wow this is a tough question and could be responsible for hours of debate. On the one hand you have the master of kung-fu and who single handily changed the course of action movies. On the other you have a certifiable maniac who bit some one's ear off in an organized fight.
Bruce Lee could literally kill you in 12 different ways. It's been documented. Look it up. And he karate chopped and kicked his way past like 700 henchmen in Enter the Dragon. You're screwed either way if you actually had to fight one of them. But if given the choice I think I'd fight Bruce Lee and here's why.
I don't think Bruce could kill me with one swift blow. He would easily knock me out, I wouldn't be able to even touch him and I would probably not even see his kicks and punches. But Mike Tyson is a madman. If you don't believe me, you should do a quick youtube search of mike tyson highlights. He has a chance of hitting me square in the jaw and rotating my head 180 degrees like an owl. No to mention there would be no rules. It would be a street fight and we all know what Tyson is capable of if there are no rules. If this was Jackie Chan and not Bruce Lee, there'd be no argument. But Lee was a bad ass long before he became a movie star. I have to wonder though if being a movie star, some of his abilities were not as intense as they seemed. I'm not knocking him, but I would do whatever possible to avoid Tyson. The man spent 4 years in jail, I can only imagine what he learned there. It boils down to this, who would you be more scared of if they walked in the same room as you, Tyson or Lee?
"Picks of the Unknown Gambler"
MP4 returned to form on Monday as he shook his losing streak. It should be noted that his second pick, Oakland v. Chicago goes down as a scratch because the "Fat Toad" Bartolo Colon missed his start. Fresh with a winning streak MP4 looks to build some momentum toward the weekend. This would be a good time to buy low on MP4, it's a bull market in the sports betting world right now and MP4 is rising.
Athletics (Outman) @ South Side (Richard) - Over 8.5 - Band Box meet No-Name Pitchers. No-Name Pitchers, Band Box.
Big Red Machine (Cueto) @ St Louie (Loshe) - Over 8 - Cueto goes a perfect three then starts to serve it up. Hopefully Loshe comes back to Earth.
Baseball Giants (Big Unit) +108 @ Nats (Zimmermann) - Big Unit becomes the LAST 300 game winner tonight. Tune in. Or Maybe Not. Great job by ESPN giving the nod to Red Sox/Tigers.
Career Juice: 6-4-1
"What to Expect When You're Expecting"
The latest installment of the "Tale of the Pauper: A Cross Country Trip of Enlightenment". And given that the next post will be on Friday, I will give my summer movie preview. I will give a quick synopsis of the upcoming movies and which ones I expect to be hits. Also our Friday edition will include a video of the day as well as the Weekend Theme Song. We might even have a gripe from Dicky and a Fab 5 from Pasquale but no promises. It's been a big week for two of our correspondents. Pasquale has started a new job, and Dicky is neck deep in destructing his kitchen, so I can't promise anything. I look foward to hearing some feedback on the working title Mailbag and would love to hear your take on Tyson or Lee. So until next time....Stay Sweet.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Morgan Freeman and the quest for Deep Dish Pizza
AND WE'RE BACK!!! after a prolonged 6 day absence I am back with a vengeance. In case you were wondering the writing summit was fantastic. There was a solid turnout at the Princeton and many hours were spent spit-balling ideas over chilled beverages. ETC. ETC. ETC. was nominated for breakout blog of the month, but we fell just short, being nudged out by the very popular "BBQ's, Bocce and Babes: How to Maximize your Cookouts". And really I'm not even mad about that. So here's what's on the docket....An update from the Pauper, an editorial from Steamin Willie Beamen and on Wednesday we will unveil our very first mailbag.
So after much hype and expectations and puppet commercials, the sports world has been deprived of a Kobe/Lebron championship. I received some heat this past week when I proclaimed (prior to game 2 of the Cavs/Magic series) that I would rather have Kobe for the playoffs than Lebron. Several of my peers were appalled by this statement (I won't name names but he contributes to this blog under a section of gripes), obviously distracted by his scary athletic ability. But as a pure player, I'll take Kobe any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Allow me a second to spotlight Kobe's career achievements. 3 time NBA Champion, 1 NBA MVP, 11 time All-Star, 2 Scoring Titles, 7 time defensive first team honors in 12 full seasons. By comparison Lebron has 0 Championships, NBA Rookie of the Year, 1 NBA MVP, 5 All-Star appearances, 1 defensive first team honor and 1 Scoring Title in 6 full seasons.
I understand the argument that Kobe played most of his career with the most dominant big man in the past quarter century, but regardless, Kobe is a winner. I also understand Kobe has 6 more years under his belt, so the numbers are skewed. But it's also a testament to Kobe that he has been elected to the defensive first team 7 times. It shows that he's not just about scoring and putting up big numbers, that he is a well rounded player. Now this doesn't mean that I don't think Lebron might not end up having a better career than Kobe. That is entirely possible given Bron's progression from a rookie to where he is at now. But given that Kobe is still playing and Lebron is watching like the rest of us, proves I was right in choosing Kobe. At least this season.
Now with that said, as I was writing this piece, I got an email from Steamin Willie Beamen. I was going to cover Lebron's poor display of walking off the court after the game and not even giving a handshake or an interview. If you give interviews after you win, you should give them after you lose. It's that simple. So I'll let Steamin take over from here....
"Steamin Willie Beamen"
Queen James
So I hate to be that guy but… I can not help myself. I would not call myself a “hater” or “super fan” but I can say that I have found myself growing to hate the man I once saw as the freak of freaks, the man of men, the top of the food chain, Lebron James. I am not trying to say I watched SC the day after game 6 and was like “Man why did Lebron act like he had never been there before?” I am trying to say that I watched the entire game and entire post game presser and nothing. No hand shake, No interview, No class. I mean it took him till the next day to say this:
It brought me back to a few short weeks ago when Scott Walker of the Carolina Hurricanes sucker punched Aaron Ward of the Bruins. Ward was on WEEI the next day and said something to the affect of “I am not worried about it. My payback will be when I get to shake his hand and tell him to have a nice summer.” How great is that? But what happened next just shows how weak the Queen really is. The Bruins force game seven, the game goes to OT, and Scott Walker scores his first playoff goal to eliminate the Bruins. And one might ask what Mr. Ward did…he got in line and shook hands. He didn’t do it because he wasn’t a winner or a competitor, he did it because it was the right thing to do and it was the class thing to do. It seems like the Queen just does not know how to show any class. The guy showed up at an Indians playoff game against the Yankees with a Yankees hat on. The guy is from Ohio!!!! I just think people need to get over the fact that he is a bullish 6’9” 275 with quick first step and a soon to be deadly jumper. They need to get over the fact that he could NEVER and I mean NEVER play a single down in the NFL unless it was as a kicker. He is playing a boys game where they call a foul if someone touches you with their hand.
I am personally done with the Lebron is better then Kobe and I think that MJ should step in with a comment saying that he is not going to lose any sleep over his Throne as the True King because there is no comparison between the actions of MJ and QJ. It is unbelievable that MJ has six rings and could have had 8 or 9 yet we are sitting here saying that QJ is in the same league. Come on people we need to stop having our sports minds infiltrated by the suites in Bristol who have prematurely crowned a young man how has a long way to go before he should ever be considered the King.
As a small programming note I will be coming with a Fresh Jams Review. These albums will have you ready to roll to the beach, drink some Studweisers, talk some garbage, and turn the volume up with the windows down…
Coming Soon:
Eminem
Jamie Foxx
Jadakiss
Easy Star All-Stars
Method Man and Redman
Camron
"The Pauper"
On Monday I wrote the first chapter of "The Tale of the Pauper: A Cross Country Journey of Enlightenment". Like Bilbo Baggins, the Pauper is on an epic adventure and it must be documented. So I give you Chapter 2 "Deep Dish".
May 28th, 2009 6:41PM: wrigleyville at john barleycorn, with ticket to see torre battle cubbies
(editor's note: I like to envision Morgan Freeman narrating this tale. His voice makes everything sound better)
The Pauper is a simple man with simple needs. I've come to learn this over the 13 years we've been friends. Upon reaching his first destination along his journey, he gazed out at the vast body of water. He casually picked up a stone and skipped it half-way to Canada. He had gotten everything he could out of the Great Lakes and decided it was time to leave, knowing he made his mark...a few simple ripples that resonated far beyond his eyes could see.
The Pauper knew the first major city that he would stop in would be Chicago. And what better place to go to than the Cathedral that is Wrigley Field. They say the field gives off an aura, a feeling of a different time, and this is exactly what the Pauper was looking for. He stopped in a little deep dish pizza and an amber brew at John Barleycorn and began mingling with the locals. Upon learning that the Dodger's were in town, and more importantly his beloved Joe Torre, he shelled over 27 dollars for ticket. A bit steep for the bleachers, but can you really put a price on the past.
As he walked up the tunnel and laid his eyes on the ivy, the Pauper had never seen a brighter shade of green. He sat in silence most of the game with an occasion clapping of the hands here and there. Not because he was a stranger in an unfamiliar city, but because he was overwhelmed by tradition. I expect another text message in about a week or so, but this time it will be fraught with excitement and promises. Promises only the gateway to the west can fulfill. Promises only unknown territory can give to a modern day Renaissance man.
"Picks of the Unknown Gambler"
In the midst of my absence I was unable to post MP4's latest rounds of picks. I have the text messages as evidence that he actually made these picks. Therefore i've credited MP4's account with 1 win (Magic +10) and 1 loss (Lakers/Nugs under 210) retroactive of May 22nd. He has been in a bit of a rut lately and hopes to get off the schnide with a new round of bullets.
MP4 Funkbuster
A's (Cahill) +133 @ South Side (Colon). Great value play. When listed as a heavy favorite between -125 to -150, Colon’s (aka Andre the Giant)teams have gone just 13-22 showing just how overpriced he can be.
Yankees (Joba) -160 @ The Mistake By the Lake (Sowers). Joba battles the midges yet again, and takes revenge out on the Indians AAAA lineup.
Career Juice: 5-4-1
Drunken Bar Bets: Number of Home runs Adrien Gonzalez hits in the Phillies series - OVER 2,
Number of times "Lebron James" is mentioned during the telecast of Game 1 of the NBA finals - OVER 10, WNBA 2009 Champions...LA Sparks, you heard it here first.
"What to Expect When You're Expecting"
The very first edition of the ETC Mailbag. Except I have decided to not call it a Mailbag because everyone in the brother has a Mailbag. So I'm going to call it the Suggestion Box. It's not too late to send in any questions or comments you want covered. Either shoot me an email or post a comment on the webpage and we will try and get it published. We've already got a few good topics and I think it will be a solid entry. So be sure to check us out on Wednesday and remember.....you can't keep a good man down.
So after much hype and expectations and puppet commercials, the sports world has been deprived of a Kobe/Lebron championship. I received some heat this past week when I proclaimed (prior to game 2 of the Cavs/Magic series) that I would rather have Kobe for the playoffs than Lebron. Several of my peers were appalled by this statement (I won't name names but he contributes to this blog under a section of gripes), obviously distracted by his scary athletic ability. But as a pure player, I'll take Kobe any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Allow me a second to spotlight Kobe's career achievements. 3 time NBA Champion, 1 NBA MVP, 11 time All-Star, 2 Scoring Titles, 7 time defensive first team honors in 12 full seasons. By comparison Lebron has 0 Championships, NBA Rookie of the Year, 1 NBA MVP, 5 All-Star appearances, 1 defensive first team honor and 1 Scoring Title in 6 full seasons.
I understand the argument that Kobe played most of his career with the most dominant big man in the past quarter century, but regardless, Kobe is a winner. I also understand Kobe has 6 more years under his belt, so the numbers are skewed. But it's also a testament to Kobe that he has been elected to the defensive first team 7 times. It shows that he's not just about scoring and putting up big numbers, that he is a well rounded player. Now this doesn't mean that I don't think Lebron might not end up having a better career than Kobe. That is entirely possible given Bron's progression from a rookie to where he is at now. But given that Kobe is still playing and Lebron is watching like the rest of us, proves I was right in choosing Kobe. At least this season.
Now with that said, as I was writing this piece, I got an email from Steamin Willie Beamen. I was going to cover Lebron's poor display of walking off the court after the game and not even giving a handshake or an interview. If you give interviews after you win, you should give them after you lose. It's that simple. So I'll let Steamin take over from here....
"Steamin Willie Beamen"
Queen James
So I hate to be that guy but… I can not help myself. I would not call myself a “hater” or “super fan” but I can say that I have found myself growing to hate the man I once saw as the freak of freaks, the man of men, the top of the food chain, Lebron James. I am not trying to say I watched SC the day after game 6 and was like “Man why did Lebron act like he had never been there before?” I am trying to say that I watched the entire game and entire post game presser and nothing. No hand shake, No interview, No class. I mean it took him till the next day to say this:
"It's hard for me to congratulate somebody after you just lose to them," JamesDoes Lebron James realize that he plays basketball? Has he ever watched a championship fight? Has he ever watched an elimination game in the NHL? Has he ever watched great athletes compete? I mean I watched Andre Berto blow Juan Urango out of the water on Saturday night. Both fighters were champions and both were “winners”. It was not like when Urango got beat in every round he ran out of the ring after the fight. He stood there like a MAN and paid his respect to the person who beat him. He gave him a hug and shook his hand like a MAN. Queen James ran away and would not talk to the media. He hid in his locker like he was a role player who was waiting for the star to explain why he couldn’t push his team to victory.
said. "I'm a winner. It's not being a poor sport or anything like that. If
somebody beats you up, you're not going to congratulate them. That doesn't make
sense to me. I'm a competitor. That's what I do. It doesn't make sense for me to
go over and shake somebody's hand."
It brought me back to a few short weeks ago when Scott Walker of the Carolina Hurricanes sucker punched Aaron Ward of the Bruins. Ward was on WEEI the next day and said something to the affect of “I am not worried about it. My payback will be when I get to shake his hand and tell him to have a nice summer.” How great is that? But what happened next just shows how weak the Queen really is. The Bruins force game seven, the game goes to OT, and Scott Walker scores his first playoff goal to eliminate the Bruins. And one might ask what Mr. Ward did…he got in line and shook hands. He didn’t do it because he wasn’t a winner or a competitor, he did it because it was the right thing to do and it was the class thing to do. It seems like the Queen just does not know how to show any class. The guy showed up at an Indians playoff game against the Yankees with a Yankees hat on. The guy is from Ohio!!!! I just think people need to get over the fact that he is a bullish 6’9” 275 with quick first step and a soon to be deadly jumper. They need to get over the fact that he could NEVER and I mean NEVER play a single down in the NFL unless it was as a kicker. He is playing a boys game where they call a foul if someone touches you with their hand.
I am personally done with the Lebron is better then Kobe and I think that MJ should step in with a comment saying that he is not going to lose any sleep over his Throne as the True King because there is no comparison between the actions of MJ and QJ. It is unbelievable that MJ has six rings and could have had 8 or 9 yet we are sitting here saying that QJ is in the same league. Come on people we need to stop having our sports minds infiltrated by the suites in Bristol who have prematurely crowned a young man how has a long way to go before he should ever be considered the King.
As a small programming note I will be coming with a Fresh Jams Review. These albums will have you ready to roll to the beach, drink some Studweisers, talk some garbage, and turn the volume up with the windows down…
Coming Soon:
Eminem
Jamie Foxx
Jadakiss
Easy Star All-Stars
Method Man and Redman
Camron
"The Pauper"
On Monday I wrote the first chapter of "The Tale of the Pauper: A Cross Country Journey of Enlightenment". Like Bilbo Baggins, the Pauper is on an epic adventure and it must be documented. So I give you Chapter 2 "Deep Dish".
May 28th, 2009 6:41PM: wrigleyville at john barleycorn, with ticket to see torre battle cubbies
(editor's note: I like to envision Morgan Freeman narrating this tale. His voice makes everything sound better)
The Pauper is a simple man with simple needs. I've come to learn this over the 13 years we've been friends. Upon reaching his first destination along his journey, he gazed out at the vast body of water. He casually picked up a stone and skipped it half-way to Canada. He had gotten everything he could out of the Great Lakes and decided it was time to leave, knowing he made his mark...a few simple ripples that resonated far beyond his eyes could see.
The Pauper knew the first major city that he would stop in would be Chicago. And what better place to go to than the Cathedral that is Wrigley Field. They say the field gives off an aura, a feeling of a different time, and this is exactly what the Pauper was looking for. He stopped in a little deep dish pizza and an amber brew at John Barleycorn and began mingling with the locals. Upon learning that the Dodger's were in town, and more importantly his beloved Joe Torre, he shelled over 27 dollars for ticket. A bit steep for the bleachers, but can you really put a price on the past.
As he walked up the tunnel and laid his eyes on the ivy, the Pauper had never seen a brighter shade of green. He sat in silence most of the game with an occasion clapping of the hands here and there. Not because he was a stranger in an unfamiliar city, but because he was overwhelmed by tradition. I expect another text message in about a week or so, but this time it will be fraught with excitement and promises. Promises only the gateway to the west can fulfill. Promises only unknown territory can give to a modern day Renaissance man.
"Picks of the Unknown Gambler"
In the midst of my absence I was unable to post MP4's latest rounds of picks. I have the text messages as evidence that he actually made these picks. Therefore i've credited MP4's account with 1 win (Magic +10) and 1 loss (Lakers/Nugs under 210) retroactive of May 22nd. He has been in a bit of a rut lately and hopes to get off the schnide with a new round of bullets.MP4 Funkbuster
A's (Cahill) +133 @ South Side (Colon). Great value play. When listed as a heavy favorite between -125 to -150, Colon’s (aka Andre the Giant)teams have gone just 13-22 showing just how overpriced he can be.
Yankees (Joba) -160 @ The Mistake By the Lake (Sowers). Joba battles the midges yet again, and takes revenge out on the Indians AAAA lineup.
Career Juice: 5-4-1
Drunken Bar Bets: Number of Home runs Adrien Gonzalez hits in the Phillies series - OVER 2,
Number of times "Lebron James" is mentioned during the telecast of Game 1 of the NBA finals - OVER 10, WNBA 2009 Champions...LA Sparks, you heard it here first.
"What to Expect When You're Expecting"
The very first edition of the ETC Mailbag. Except I have decided to not call it a Mailbag because everyone in the brother has a Mailbag. So I'm going to call it the Suggestion Box. It's not too late to send in any questions or comments you want covered. Either shoot me an email or post a comment on the webpage and we will try and get it published. We've already got a few good topics and I think it will be a solid entry. So be sure to check us out on Wednesday and remember.....you can't keep a good man down.
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