Kate Hudson for MVP

Welcome to another edition of ETC ETC ETC. It's one of the greatest times of the year in terms of sports and we've got a lot to cover. So much so that I decided it was time to open up the Gmail Inbox, brought to you by the good people at Google. So lets get right into the questions.



If the Yankees win the World Series should Kate Hudson get a ring?- Brian (CT)

At this point the only person more deserving of a ring is Teixeira. I don't know what she has done to A-Rod, but if your a Yankees fan you can only hope that she keeps doing whatever it is she is doing. I can't blame the guy, in fact good for him. She's a smokeshow but all I can imagine is that scene in You, Me and Dupree when Kate is dancing around in a black bathing suit. Except it's with A-Rod sitting instead of Michael Douglas, it's Hank Steinbrenner and instead of Lance Armstrong it's Joe Girardi. This is strangely perverse, comical and all too possible to think about.


This got me thinking about any other influential women and their effect on an athletes. You've got your marquee example of this in Eva Longoria and Tony Parker. Pre Eva, Tony was just another decent point guard. Then Tony got all Desperate Housewives-y with Eva and all of a suddenly the guy rattles of 2 championships (sure Tim Duncan was a large part of that, but I gotta give the edge to Eva. Remember kids, "Hot Wife, Good Life".)

Then there is David Beckham and Victoria Beckham. Beckham was just another "futball-er on the pitch" before he married Posh Spice and then all of a sudden he wins the UEFA cup and goes on to sign the biggest sports contract of all time.

But beware A-Rod, not all celebrity relationships are rainbows and championships. Dating a celebrity can backfire from time to time. Just ask Jason Sehorn. He was on top of the world, the only white cornerback in the NFL and coming off a Pro-Bowl season. Then he went and married Angie Harmon (from Law & Order, that's not very specific since there are 8 of them now) and then his career went straight down the tubes. He blew out his knee, his pants fell down in a game and then he became a punchline. But Angie is also very attractive so I really can't blame the guy. In fact he's a great example of striking while the iron is hot. He signed a big contract and got a hot wife, so the joke is on us.

I just a preview for Saw VI. How many more of these stupid movies are they going to make, over or under 7.5? - Ryan (Ridgefield)

I can't believe they are making another one of these movies. Enough already. Let me guess what this is about, the killer sets up another game that tortures and kills people who might be slightly corrupt and one person is left alive and they become the heir to Jigsaw's legacy. Boom Saw VI. Save your money that's exactly what happens.

Why do horror movies insist on making like 12 sequels? Can't we get a little creative. Anyone that knows me is well aware that I don't do scary movies, but I'm intrigued by "Paranormal Activity". It's suggestively scary, and it doesn't follow the same played out horror formula of brutal violence and loud, jumpy music that makes you scream. However, I don't see an end to this horror movie sequel trend, especially with the news of a remake of "A Nightmare on Elm Street" the scariest movie of all time in my opinion. So I'm going to take the over here and go with a Canadian dozen and say there will be 8 Saw movies.

If you had to listen to one of the following for 3 hours, which would it be and why

1. Chip Caray announcing
2. Nails on a chalkboard
3. Cats meowing jingle bells
-Pasquale (Norwalk)

For those who don't know who Chip Caray, consider yourself fortunate. He is an announcer on TBS who usually only does the Atlanta Braves games. But since TBS now has the MLB playoffs, fans are forced to be tortured if they want to watch the games. The guy couldn't be dumber. You know those people who only have their job's because of a rich or famous relative, and how much you hate that person because they have no business doing whatever it is they do. Well Chip is one of those people. He is related to the famous Harry Carey, who at least was informative and entertaining. Chip is neither of those. He makes your ears hurt listening to him. A four year old can do a better job (make sure you click on the link at the end of the blog for further proof). I think this is just one of the many ploys Ted Turner has to take over the world by exposing us to mindless hours of painful television, like "House of Payne" and "The Bill Engvall Show". Despite that, I think I would have to choose listening to Chip Carey, assuming that there is some kind of sporting event to go along with his excruciating commentary. Because lets face it the other two options have a legitimate shot of sending you to a mental institution.

If you had to watch any of these fictional movies, which would you watch? Prognosis Negative, Chunnel, Rochelle Rochelle, or Sack Lunch?
- Peter (Connecticut)

Hopefully my readers will all know that these are references to fake movies that come up throughout the seasons of "Seinfeld". As for Prognosis Negative, its supposed to be really bad, really bad. I mean it's long, there's no story, its so unbelievably boring.... i heard. So I'd have to rule that out. For help on this topic I turned to my trusted Seinfeld expert and collegue Pasquale. Here's what he had to say....

"Each have their benefits but also have their downsides. I feel like Prognosis Negative and Chunnel are automatically out because they just dont have the cache the other two have. Hard to argue with a strange erotic journey from Milan to Minsk in my opinion, but at the same time...how did that family get stuck in that sack?"

It's true...How did that family get stuck in that sack. But comon, Rochelle Rochelle. It's one girl's strange erotic journey from Milan to Minsk. It was so good they even made it a musical starring Bette Middler. So with all that considered I'm going with Rochelle Rochelle. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't see Sack Lunch. Even with Todd Gak.

Now that the SAWX are eliminated, who are you rooting for in the MLB Playoffs?-Will (Portland)

The Sox had yet another gut-wrenching loss that eliminated them from the playoffs. It's not nearly as bad as '03 and the homerun that shall not be mentioned, but you've got your star closer on the mound with a 2 run cushion and he blows it. That's just crushing. In a related story, this was just the culmination of one of the worst sports weekends in the life of Steamin Willie Beamen. My college roommate and contributor to this blog was as low as a sports fan could get this weekend. Not only did the Sox lose, but so too did the Patriots and the University of Michigan. Which prompted him to send me the following text messages....

Oct. 12, 2009 12:42 PM: I hate my life. Worst weekend ever. Pats killed me, Michigan killed me, Sox cut off my balls.

That pretty much sums it up. But it an also interesting and related story, a potential matchup is brewing in the MLB playoffs that would cause another best friend and contributor to self destruct. As a Mets fan, Dicky hates 2 baseball teams, the Yankees and the Phillies. And they could very well meet in the World Series. We all wondered what he would do then. Who would he root for? Would he even watch? Would he be so disgusted by the sight that he never watched baseball again? Would he call in a bomb threat? All reasonable concerns.

While it would disgust me to see the Yankees in the World Series once again (Sorry to my Yankee friends, which are most of you, but you know how I feel), I think it is inevitable. And this year I had 3 Phillies players carry my fantasy baseball team to a championship. This along with the potential of "world's colliding" for Dicky, I think I want the Phillies to come out of the NL. However I'm just hoping for good playoff baseball. I think with the 4 teams left standing that we should be in for a good October....and part of November.

So that will wrap up this edition of ETC. ETC. ETC. However before I leave you I made a claim that a four year old could do a better job then Chip Carey. Well here is that 4 year. He is re-enacting Herb Brooks' famous speech before the US Hockey team defeated the Soviet Union in the 1980 Olympics. It was also made famous in the movie Miracle by Kurt Russell, but I think this guy takes the cake. Notice the attention to detail too. For instance, when Russell first walks into the locker room he pats a player on the shoulder twice. Well when the kid walks into the room he makes sure to pat something twice, so he pats his air hockey table. In the words (or word) of Jim Rome " AAAA-mazing". This has now become my new favorite YouTube Video.

Until next time, as always....STAY SWEET