ETC Anniversary

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ETC ETC ETC! It's officially been 1 year since the blog has been up and going and I can't even begin to tell you how many lives we've touched. People like the Prime Minister of England, and my cousin Harry, you and me, the fat kid from "what's happening", the Olsen twins, Natalie Portman, the guy who wrote "Catcher in the Rye", Nat King Cole, Carrot Top, Jay-Z, Weird Al Yankovich, Harry Potter, if he existed, the whore on the street corner, your mother. We're all one.

Our goal was to get 50 followers in the first year and we fell just short. We came in 49 and that's not too shabby. So if you're reading this and you are not a follower, please sign up on the right hand side. It's simple and easy and the 50th person will get a fantastic gift courtesy of ETC (Have you ever heard of Williard?)

So we are rolling our the red carpet for some of our prestigious contributors that you have come to know and love. I have petitioned Obama to declare this ETC week but he hasn't gotten back to me yet, thanks healthcare reform. So that means all week we are going to have pieces from people like MP4 and the Pauper, Pasquale and Dicky, Yahtzee and Steamin' Willie Beamen. And how could we possibly have an anniversary week without some good old fashioned Nic Cage fun.

So tonight I am going to give you two very special pieces, an anniversary double dip of the Fab 5 from Pasquale and an ETC ETC ETC original video paying homage to the man, the myth, the legend...Nic Cage.

So here's Pasquale....

Fab 5 


since its the one year blog anniversary, i'll give you 5 to hate and 5 to love, that's 10 for the price of 5, usually you pay double for that kind of action

5 Things to Love

24/7 - If you're not familiar with 24/7 be sure to make a point to watch it the next time its on. 24/7 chronicles the 4 weeks leading up to a big boxing match. The theme song get me fired up and the narrator can make just about anything seem interesting. In some cases the 24/7 is actually more entertaining than the fight. I think all 24/7 fans are keeping their fingers crossed for mayweather/pacquiao. If you don't watch 24/7 or haven't watched it before, do yourself a favor and watch the next one.

Arthur Ave - Arthur ave is the little italy of the bronx. A few members of the etc, etc, etc staff were on arthur ave this past weekend and enjoyed an absolute feast. If you live in the new york area and have never been, make a point to head there and grab a meal, make sure that meal includes appetizers, full dinner, and desert at one of the many pastry shops in the neighborhood.

The Transitive Property - You can use the transitive property to prove almost anything. Here is one of my favorite examples of the transitive property at work. I hate Harry Connick Jr. Michael Buble sounds like Harry Connick Jr, so by the transitive property of hatred, I hate Harry Connick Jr.

South Park - For the last 13 years South Park has been the most relevant, up to date show on television. South Park might look like a low budget, poorly drawn cartoon show, but there are always underlying themes and lessons in the adventures of the kids from South Park. If you were in a coma for the last 13 years and wanted to get caught up on what had happened in the world while getting a laugh, South Park would be your best bet, and don't tell me its just a profane cartoon. If you think its just a profane cartoon, you're not watching.

Winning Time - This 30 in 30 documentary brought back the horror show that was reggie miller versus the new york knicks. While watching Reggie torch the knicks was difficult, it made me realize how good those games used to be. The NBA has gone soft now, most super stars are more concerned with their personal brand and image than winning. The mid 90's Knicks had the no lay up rule, which is among the greatest rules in professional sports, unfortunately you don't see much of this rule anymore.

5 things to hate

Long Sleeve Dress Shirts - These shirts absolutely kill me. It has nothing to do with getting dressed up. The elbows always rip. No matter what. It pisses me off. If someone can invent a reasonably priced long sleeved dress shirt with elbows that don't rip, they'll be a millionaire.

Fans who run on the field - Recently in Philadelphia, fans have been running on the field during the game. One moron who ran on the field was hit with a taser and there was some public backlash over the usage of said taser. are you kidding m?, if you're dumb enough to run on the field you should have to deal with the consequences whether that be a cop beating you down, a player tackling you, or being tased with serious amounts of voltage.

Religion - Religion really bugs the shit out of me. I was raised a catholic, so I'm particularly up to date on how ridiculous the catholic church is, but I'm an equal opportunity hater when it comes to religion. Each religion is completely full of shit in its own way. If you dislike religion, watch religulous, which is a film by bill maher where travels the world speaking with members of various religions and basically shitting on each of them. I don't mind if you are religious, i'm kind of envious of people who have strong beliefs like that, just don't talk to me about religion. There is nothing more obnoxious than someone who is outspoken about their religion and loves to point out to people how what they do is right and what you do is wrong. just keep it to yourself.

PSL's -  I don't even need to explain this one. PSL's just blow. *EDITORS NOTE: PSL stands for Personal Seat License. A scam sport teams are using to milk thousands of dollars from their fans*

Internet Acronyms - Just don't use them. If you used them when you were in middle school, i might be able to give you a pass. But if you use them now, don't. just don't. 



That's why we love Pasquale. To those who don't listen to sports talk radio you might not think this is a compliment, but quite frankly its the highest praise you can give.....Thats a Good Job by you.


A Nic Cage Tribute 


So for quite some time now ETC has featured the Trademarked Nic Cage Movie Review System. People have come to know and love it but may not understand where it originated from. Yes we all love Nic Cage, that goes without speaking. But a casual conversation with a friend of the blog resulted in the following conversation. Most readers know who said it, but they will remain nameless...


"I was drinking some white zinfandel and watching a Nic Cage marathon" 


Nothing wrong with that my friend. And from that innocent conversation a drink came to fruition...the Cage Bomb (a shot of white zinfandel dropped into a glass of beer. shockingly not as bad as it sounds) 


We know Nic Cage, we love Nic Cage. He's experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of the lows. And so its only fitting that after being the most prominent figure thus far in the history of ETC, that I should show my appreciation by putting together a tribute video. So here is an ETC ETC ETC world premiere video I made....Nic Cage Tribute  

2nd Annual Summer Movie Preview

Seeing as Iron Man 2 hits theaters tomorrow I decided I am taking a break from the Ultimate Showdown debate with Mr. IMDB, Lenny the Critic in order to bring you the 2nd Annual summer blockbuster preview. So if you are new-ish to the blog this is the edition in which I analyze 10 movies that are being released this summer and what my expectations are for them. Last year I predicted that Harry Potter would be the top earning movie, just nudging out Transformers. Well I was very close but Transformers took the top earning spot of the summer (Transformers and Potter were number 2 and 3 for the entire year behind only Avatar, which opened in December and not on my summer list).

My format is slightly different this year. Some people were confused by the incorporation of the Nic Cage Movie Review System. They thought I had already seen the movie and given it a rating. So instead I will rank them from 10 to 1, least excited to most excited to see. Without further adieu, the 10 summer movies I'm most excited to see....(Sex and the City 2 will NOT be mentioned)

As usual, you can click on the title of the movie to see it's trailer.

10. Cyrus (July 9)- This one stars John C. Reilly and Jonah Hill and has been under the radar so far. Reilly is a down on his luck guy who finally meets a girl thats into him (Marissa Tomei). It turns out she has an awkward 20 something son that still lives with her. It's not a pure slapstick movie that we've come to expect from these two, but it definitely looks funny and could be a surprise hit.

9. Knight and Day (June 25)- This is either going to be a big hit or a huge disappointment. It's got Cruise and Cameron Diaz and it almost has a Mr. & Mrs. Smith feel to it. Cruise is a mysterious secret agent who goes on the run with Diaz and it looks like there are a bunch of plot twists and character developments. It looks like it's an action comedy, which is dangerous ground as it could be a good balance or way too cheesy. I'm banking that Cruise comes through in a role that is right up his alley. He's usually reliable with action movies.

8. Shrek Forever After (May 21) - Shrek is back. The last installment was not as good as the first two, so Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy are back to try and end the saga on a high note. The first Shrek was very funny and based on the preview, the final chapter looks like it will be just as good. It's basically a bizarro world in which every character is the complete opposite, including a fat and lazy puss N' boots. This has a chance to be the highest grossest movie of the summer due to its appeal to both kids and grown ups. Not sure where I fall on the kids/grown ups scale, but I'd like to see this.

7. Get Him To The Greek (June 4) - Aldice Snow is back. For those who don't recognize the name, Aldice Snow is the British rocker in Forgetting Sarah Marshall played by Russell Brand. Also returning in the spin-off is Jonah Hill, who played the creepy hotel worker who wants to be a musician. In this new version, Hill is an assistant for a music label and he must convince Aldice to perform at a concert. I would expect the same over the top humor from Marshall but I don't expect this to be as good as its original.

6. The Sorcerer's Apprentice (July 16th) - This is my sleeper pick of the summer, and not just because it's been years since my boy Cage has made a good movie. If you follow the blog then you know we've heard rumors about this movie last year when Paulie Walnuts snapped a pic of Nic Cage in costume, woofing down a slice of pizza in NYC. To be honest I thought this movie was either a dream or someone's idea of sick prank being pulled on me. Well I was wrong...its finally here. Jerry Brockheimer is producing so its going to have huge special effects and crazy CGI stunts not to mention people love the whole wizard/magician thing lately so I think its going to be surprise hit. God knows Cage needs the money now more than ever.

5. Toy Story 3 (June 18) - It was Pixar's first movie and it was a classic. Now Tom Hanks and Tim Allen are back as Woody and Buzz Lightyear as they deal with Andy going off to college. Pixar doesn't make bad movies (see Toy Story 1, Finding Nemo, Up) and it looks like they've got another hit with the last installment of the series that made them famous. My issue with this is that it's more of a kids movie than Shrek, and I am not going to see 2 "kids/cartoon" movies in one summer. Having said that, kids are going to eat this movie up.

4. Grown Ups (June 25) - Adam Sandler, Chris Rock and Kevin James star along with David Spade and Rob Schneider (who are both only funny when they're in movies with the guys mentioned) as childhood friends who get together for the first time in almost 30 years. Its the old SNL in the early 90's group back together so I have to imagine its going to be funny. And its hard to not to think that Kevin James' role would have been played by Chris Farley if he was still alive, but I find James to be very funny and think he will do just fine with Sandler and Chris Rock.

3. Inception (July 16) - I'm very fired up for this movie, but some people might disagree. It's kind of trippy and the previews don't even really explain what the movie is about but its got Leo in the lead role and its directed by Christopher Nolan who gave us The Dark Knight. It looks like The Matrix with it's slow motion action and it seems like it takes place inside people's memories. It's going to be action packed, thrilling and intense and I've got really high expectations for this one. It's my wildcard for highest grossing movie due to Leo as the star and this being Nolan's first movie since The Dark Knight. This might just be an opening night attendance movie for me.

2. Iron Man 2 (May 7) - I originally had this as my number 1 most anticipated movie, but then I watched some trailers and decided to put this at 2. Its probably more like 1b and the top  movie is 1a but this is a top 10 list not a cop-out list. However, I think this is going to be the highest grossing movie of the summer (the trailer has over 30 million views already). It's got a built in audience already and is easily the most anticipated movie of the summer. To add on to that, we now have Scarlett Johansson in a tight leather suit and the addition of Mickey Rouke as the villain is pure genius. I was unsure about the original and didn't see it in theaters. That was a mistake I will not make with the sequal because I thoroughly enjoyed the first installment. Robert Downey Jr has emerged as the most dynamic actor of the past 5 years and is perfectly cast as Tony Stark. In my younger years, I might go see this at midnight tonight but I don't have the stamina for that. I will see this one hopefully this upcoming weekend, but I will most certainly have a Nic Cage Movie Review within the week. This is pretty much the definition of a summer blockbuster. I think its a lock for the top earning movie of the summer, the only question is...can it catch The Dark Knight for biggest weekend opening of all time?

1. Robin Hood (May 14) - We all know the Robin Hood story but Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott are out to prove that Robin Hood was a bad-ass and not some "take from the rich, give to the poor" philanthropist. If this is half as good as Gladiator it will be amazing, and based on the trailer it looks like it will not disappoint. I can't expect it to be as good as Gladiator because that's just not fair, but this looks like it could be more action packed believe it or not. I don't think it will gross as much as Iron Man, but I am more excited to see this. I saw a teaser preview during the Super Bowl in January and I've been looking forward to its release since then. Russell Crowe is on the short list of actors that I think doesn't give bad performances and I would see pretty much anything that he makes. I did flip flop this a few times with Iron Man and Inception, but I decided to go with this as my number 1 most anticipated movie of the summer.

Honorable Mentions: Jonah Hex (Megan Fox is the only reason why I might consider seeing this. Although if I was an actor I guess I would sign on to do a shitty movie if it meant I would have a sex scene with her, good job by Josh Brolin) , The Other Guys (can Will Ferrell finally rebound and make a funny movie. Its got Eva Mendes and Mark Wahlberg so its possible.), Despicable Me (another cartoon, I can't possibly consider 3 in one summer so I won't be seeing this one) and Dinner For Schmucks (Paul Rudd and Steve Carrell, sounds like it can't miss but the preview isn't great).

Well that wraps up the 2nd Annual Summer Movie Preview. To recap, my sleeper hit is The Sorcerer's Apprentice (no that's not a joke), my wildcard for the top earning movie is Inception and my pick for the top earning Summer movie of 2010 is Iron Man 2. If any readers see these movies, feel free to leave a comment or an email about them and I will compare my thoughts with yours. So until next time, as always.....STAY SWEET!