Late Night Disgrace

Ladies and gentleman that is why I don't gamble. I went 1-3 in my NFL picks this weekend (that's genetical), and was way off when I claimed that last weekend's round of playoff games "tend to be the best of all the rounds". The first 3 games were blowouts and barely entertaining but thankfully the New York Jets threw a wrench in the plans and came through with a shocking upset.

I also, apparently, was way off with my understanding of my females readers and severly underestimated their football savvy. Here is a response from Callie, who wins the award for best comment in ETC's history to date....

Caz- As much as I appreciate your nod to the female race in the world of men's sports, I have to say that I've watched football- the Jets in particular- with as much love, self-loathing, dejection, and intoxicating euphoria as the next fantasy-obsessed wannabe jock that you call out to with vigor, all season long. I do agree with the majority of your projections, though, so I guess I should just know my role and smile blankly while sipping my coors light in front of the big screen this weekend. Sigh. Girls never win.

Good job by Callie, I knew I always liked you. From now on I will treat the female readers as football equals. It's about time, I mean we do have an African-American in the White House after all.

In other news, I heard that Katy Perry is engaged to Russell Brand, something I am still struggling to comprehend. For those of you that don't know, Russell Brand is the guy who played the British rocker in Forgetting Sarah Marshall a character that was entirely too close to his real life person. He is a recovering sex and drug addict and has somehow managed to land Katy Perry. This doesn't seem to make any sense to me and this relationship is begging for infidelity and trust issues. This is like hiring Snoop Dogg to be a D.A.R.E. officer; it's got problems written all over it. This tell's me 1 of 2 things. Either Katy Perry is a freak in the sheets, or this is the modern day Whitney and Bobby Brown. I got my money on the latter.

But let's move on to the real reason for today's post. NBC has decided to pull the plug on Conan O'Brien and the Tonight Show and move Jay Leno back to the 11:30 time slot. In a move that even Benedict Arnold would call wrong, NBC has somehow managed to make itself look worse then it already does. Conan is getting the royal screw job and I can only hope that his talent is rewarded with a new show on a new network. He waited for 5 years while NBC promised him the Tonight Show, just to have it taken away after 7 months. I love all the NBC/Leno bashing that is going on by people like Jimmy Kimmel, Ricky Gervais and Seth Meyers. Here are a few of  my favorite jokes so far...

"Hosting 'The Tonight Show' has been the fulfillment of a life-long dream for me. And I just want to say to the kids out their watching, you can do anything you want in life. Unless Jay Leno wants to do it, too."-Conan

"It's disappointing knowing that soon I won't have a show, but Snooki and The Situation will"-Conan

"At the Golden Globes, Julia Roberts said 'NBC was in the toilet'. Yeah, NBC was upset but toilets were furious"-Conan

(talking about the rain at the golden globes) "NBC said it was going to rain at 10, but then they moved it to 11:30" -Tom Hanks

(also talking about the rain) "It's not rain, its God crying for NBC"-Tina Fey (whose show airs on NBC)

Seth Meyers summed it up pretty well in this video.....

It's amazing how this is playing out, but there was a perfect example of this that happened a few years ago in the sports world. I think this is a good warning to Jay Leno.

You all remember when the Green Bay Packers drafted Aaron Rodgers to be their quarterback of the future? The only problem was that the Packers already had an icon at quarterback in Brett Favre. Except that he was getting old and just not performing the way he used to and people were ready for him to retire. The Packers told Aaron to wait a few years, perfect his game and sometime in the near future he will be the star quarterback. And then finaly Favre retired and we all prepared for Rodgers to take over just to find out a few months later that Favre wanted back. He decided to unretire, demand to start, wanted his old job back and made a huge mess in Green Bay. Fast foward a few years. People hate Favre now for being a primadona and not accepting that his time has past. Aaron Rodgers looks like a revelation, becoming a star in the NFL and more importantly everyone seems to love him.

I hope this happens for Conan. He is far too talented for NBC, a once great network that was home to Seinfeld, Cheers and Friends. As Seth Meyers said, there's a lot of pressure on Chuck now. So until next time, as always....Stay Sweet!

And support Team Conan.

NFL Playoffs

Hola ETC readers. This weekend is one of the best football weekends of the year. It's the second round of the playoffs and only 8 teams remain. Of all the playoff weekends, I like this one the best. You still have 4 games to watch, 2 on Saturday and 2 on Sunday and generally speaking the best games occur this weekend. That is because teams have been eliminated that either squeaked into the playoffs or just weren't playing good football. So the talent level is higher than last week and the players realize they one game closer to the Super Bowl.

So to get you fired up for the weekend I've decided to unveil my first video that I have made for the blog. But before I do that, I've got say a few things about the weekend.

I realize that the majority of the male viewers are well aware of who is playing, what is at stake and every key matchup to watch. However I cannot leave our female readers out to dry. So ladies, I'm going to try and get you interested in the games and give you some advice and things to talk about if you find yourself at a party or bar with guys who are enthralled with the games.

1. Guys love football, but they love watching football even more. We don't want to miss the start of the games, so resist the urge to ask if you can catch up on Gossip Girl episodes before or between the games.

2. The Saints/Cardinals game is going to a "shoot-out" meaning there will be a lot of scoring and a lot of passing. If you want to impress a guy, talk about Kurt Warner's ability to complete passes against the blitz, and that you think his veteran leadership will really make a difference. Even if you don't understand what you're saying, he will.

3. Despite having a rookie head coach and a rookie quarterback, you think that the Jet's can win the game if they can run the football and not turn the ball over. (This is very cliched and obvious, but if you're a beginner at talking football to guys, this should do the trick. Consider it the "bunny hill" of football talk)

4. When talking about the games, less is more. Especially if you're not a true fan or don't really know what you're talking about. Use one of these talking points that I'm laying out for you and then let the guy control the conversation. Chances are he will be so happy that you're interested he will tell you everything you need to know.

5. Peyton Manning might be the best quarterback of all time, not just the funny guy that does commercials with Justin Timberlake.

I hope that helps ladies. But now on to my picks. Our resident expert, MP4, is so swamped with work that his company has sent him away from society to the frozen tundra of Maine. It's so bad that he may not even be able to watch his beloved J-E-T-S JETS! JETS! JETS! Let's all say a quiet prayer that he finds a way to watch the game. So I will do my best to fill in for him, which is no easy task I might add.

Cardinals (+7) over Saints- The playoff rule is never pick the underdog unless you think they can win outright. Well I think they will win outright. They are on a role, and the Saints lost their last 3 games of the season. It used to be that the bye week was desired in the playoffs, but lately the hottest team has had the edge. It will be a tough atmosphere, but I think the Cardinals pull it out on the road. Cardinals 37- Saints 34.

Colts (-6.5) over Ravens- I love how the Ravens are playing, and the same can be said about the Colts as previously said about the Saints. They've lost their last 2 games and are coming off the bye week. But they sat Peyton Manning most of the last 2 games and they just aren't the same team with Manning on the Bench. Ravens will definitely keep it close, and may even have the lead in the 4th quarter, but Manning will not lose this game at home. Colts 24 Ravens 17.

Cowboys (+3) over Vikings- It pains me to pick the Cowboys, but I think they are playing great football. Romo is shockingly playing his best ball of the season, in the playoffs no less, and they have a power run game to match. The Vikings only chance is to hope that Adrian Peterson has a day because I think Favre is too run down and too old to pull it out. Cowboys 30-Vikings 24

Chargers (-7) over Jets- I think the Chargers just have too much firepower for the Jets to stop. If Sanchez can play as well as he did last week the Jets have a very real shot. But I think he is going to have to throw it more then 15 times this week, and if he completes around 20 passes, the Jets win. But I don't think that will happen. Chargers 28 Jets 26.

I've watched a lot of football and made a lot of picks, but I honestly don't feel confident about any of these games. It wouldn't surprise me if any team won this weekend, which makes a recipe for great games. So without further adieu, here is the video I put together to get you fired up for the weekend. For optimal enjoyment, jack up the volume and watch in full screen mode. Enjoy the games, and until next time, as always.....STAY SWEET!